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Apartments in San Francisco CA
Ryan Miller- Depleted Resource Analyst
Ryan
Sunday, February 28th Written by Ryan Miller- Depleted Resource Analyst
Ryan’s Famous “Am I Gay?” Litmus Test
Friday, January 22nd Written by Ryan Miller- Depleted Resource AnalystAs a full blown queer living in San Francisco, a shocking number of my straight friends have confided in me that they’ve had homosexually charged erotic fantasies. From what I’ve observed, it appears as though everyone has had at least one secret experience that made them feel a little faggy, whether that be intense eye ... Read More →
How to Make a Sacrilicious XXX-Mas Gift
Friday, December 4th Written by Ryan Miller- Depleted Resource AnalystIn this troubled economy, thinking about buying holiday gifts as a broke-ass can sound like a nightmare. It’s bad enough you’re eating cold three-day-old spaghetti for dinner, now you’re expected to buy a ton of presents for your friends who you secretly hate. That’s why this year I’ve decided to get all of my shopping ... Read More →
Dozens Enter Panic After Tooth Bandit Strikes
Wednesday, December 2nd Written by Ryan Miller- Depleted Resource AnalystOfficials have released a police sketch this week of the man known as The Tooth Bandit who allegedly terrorized Elena Aronson by stealing her two front teeth. The suspect was said to have made several comments to the woman while riding the MUNI referencing her teeth and saying “I want them.” When the victim fled, she ... Read More →
Whisper Sweet Nothings at the Sugar Cafe
Thursday, November 26th Written by Ryan Miller- Depleted Resource AnalystMy friend took me to what she called “a faggy little spot” in the Tendernob this past weekend with promises of a sturdy breakfast. She definitely didn’t let me down. Upon walking into Sugar Cafe, I was greeted by art pieces, a big fireplace and a menu featuring breakfast, lunch, $2 bottomless coffee, $10 bottomless ... Read More →
A Guide to Riding the SF MUNI: Part Deux
Wednesday, November 25th Written by Ryan Miller- Depleted Resource AnalystIn the second installment of the bus etiquette series we’re going to cover quite a bit. We’ll laugh, we’ll cry, we’ll discover our bodies. I hope you’re ready for this adventure. I know I am.
1. Greet the bus driver.
Turns out that’s not a robot driving the bus, it’s a human being. I didn’t believe it ... Read More →
Disguise Your Drinking Problem as Brunch at Lime
Wednesday, November 18th Written by Ryan Miller- Depleted Resource AnalystCopious amounts of booze? I’m listening. Sexy singles? Yes please. Huevos rancheros? Where do I sign? There are few things in life I’d consider better than brunch (like seeing that your ex has gained fifty pounds or the adorable face kids make when you tell them Santa isn’t real). But the fine folks at Lime ... Read More →
Five Things You’ll Never Look Cool Doing
Friday, November 13th Written by Ryan Miller- Depleted Resource AnalystWe’ve all had those embarrassing moments where one minute everything is fine, and the next you can feel the blood rushing to your face and are eyeing what could be your quickest escape route so you can go home and cut yourself. Below are five things that it’s almost impossible to recover from, please feel ... Read More →
How to Lose a Gay in 10 Seconds
Friday, November 6th Written by Ryan Miller- Depleted Resource AnalystI’ve only recently discovered the importance of a sturdy meal before a night out. There I was at the bar and in walks a mega babe who proceeded to join the group I was with. Once he started yapping, he spit out his words with a British accent which just may be the cutest thing ... Read More →
A Guide to Riding the SF MUNI: Part One
Wednesday, November 4th Written by Ryan Miller- Depleted Resource AnalystAnyone who lives in San Francisco knows your ride home can make or break your night. You may see something devastating like a baby taking it’s first steps, or something hilarious like an elderly woman falling from her walker. Either way, you’re going to cry after you masturbate and that’s what really brings this twisted ... Read More →
