Will Cross-dress for Free Dinner
Wearing a skirt as man can get you a few things depending where you are â€“ some supplemental income in the Bowery, a bagpipe in Scotland, a punch in the face in Detroit. Last night it got us a free 3 course dinner and 2 drinks at the schmancy Park Avenue Winter, given to anyone dressed as a school girl in celebration of their cameo on Gossip Girl. We changed in the shadows of the sidewalk, being sure to clarify from fellow Broke-Ass contributors Anna and Ashley, where the zipper went, thinking we would probably get rejected. Specifically because of Stuart’s previous post, “Dress like an entitled brat and get a free meal”.
Thighs feeling extremely vulnerable, we entered and the place fucking lit up â€“ we didn’t even have to use our counter-rejection that would have relied on words like â€œdiscriminatoryâ€ and â€œdouche-baggeryâ€. The hosts immediately smiled and joked. Hand reflexes went for cameras, not security buttons. Other school girls mini-mobbed us wanting photos. They drooled over our white, hairy legs. Ok, maybe not. The managers congratulated us on a job well done and advised high alert around a particular French server who might like our â€œEuropean lookâ€. Social capital was through the roof. We actually could have justifiably used our atrophied swat-girls-away muscles, which have been neglected since pre-puberty, but why the hell would we do that?
Other unexpected, pleasantries included a woman actually wearing a ball gown. She was loving it. And the most randy of the school girls? An older woman whose costume included the only mid-riff exposing French knot and a stuffed animal draped over her bag. More personally, I found skirts makes peeing even easier for a dude and that without leggings, girls like checking out guys legs when they wear skirts, and my hamstrings stuck to the bottom of chair, which technically was an unexpected un-pleasantry.
I can’t dwell on the food because it makes the return to my grits and ramen more painful, but it definitely warrants mention, given it was free. Our three coursers included: sashimi, salmon tartare, scallops, steak, and lobster. One dessert looked like a ceramic chocolate cube (appropriately called â€œthe chocolate cubeâ€) and another was sent by Saint Peter himself, all fluffy with white cotton candy and golden candied sugar sticks.
The promo continues through the 20th, but you need to make a reservation and our server (a fucking legend!) told us they have around 400 bookings already. So, good luck slacker.