Occasionally life demands second helpings: e.g. Seinfeld reruns and ice cream and drunk-dials and trips to the Gold Club, and let me repeat that, trips to the Gold Club, whereâ€”Stuart told you once alreadyâ€”you can find FREE Friday lunch buffets: FREE food and cheap women. Interpret cheap as you will, but after the $5 cover charge (and therein lies the catch) there ain’t no arguing the semantics of FREE.
No, the FREE Friday lunch buffet is not an urban myth, and no, it’s not bad food. How can I be so sure? On two Fridays this monthâ€”remember what I said about second helpings?â€”I found myself taking care of business inside the Gold Club. Not that kind of business, you sick fuck. Actual business. Legitimate meetings involving business people in clothes nicer than mine and business plans and projections and intelligence and fucking effort. Plus the occasional stripper from Fresno who smelled a whole lot like Winston cigarettes and B.O.
Fortunately you can fight back with smells of your own: unlimited fried chicken, another unrecognizable meat that was definitely darker than chicken and probably tougher than leather, penne pasta salad, regular crappy green salad that I didn’t touch because I’m an old-school guy who doesn’t really care too much about eating healthy. Plus all kinds of fruit: cantaloupe, watermelon, blah blah blah. Dude, they even have cookies. I can see your brain working overtime: Cookies, that’s gotta be a euphemism. No. I mean cookies. Like chocolate chip and oatmeal raisin and shit.
The whole thing is real casual. And on a Friday. And although Casual Fridays are soooo â€˜80s, this kind of casual is a bit different than your older-brother’s pleated Dockers.
Free lunch buffet at Gold Club
650 Howard St. at 3rd St. [SOMA]