How to Behave in a Restaurant – Part 1

You know how in places like Israel and Switzerland it’s mandatory for every citizen to spend a certain amount of time in the military?  I’ve always thought that it should be the same in the US, but that instead of the army or navy, Americans should have to be in the service industry for six months.  I honestly believe it would make us a hell of a lot nicer and more considerate to each other.

Many of us Broke-Asses have toiled as restaurant employees at some point or another because it’s a way to have a flexible schedule while still making okay money.  For those of you who this applies to, I’m dedicating this piece to you.  For those of you who’ve never worked in a restaurant, please pay attention to the following so you don’t make an ass out of yourself:

The only way youre allowed to snap your fingers at your server is if youre this guy.  Youre not.

The only way you're allowed to snap your fingers at your server is if you're this guy. You're not.

Be Respectful: Do not, by any means, snap your fingers at your server, and call out “Waiter”.  Who the hell do you think you are, Frank Sinatra?  Severs are people, not fucking puppies.  If you need something, make eye contact with them and smile.  Chances are you were next on their list of people to get to.  What people probably don’t realize is that waiting tables is like playing chess, servers are always thinking 10 steps ahead of whatever task they are currently doing.

Similarly don’t interrupt a server while they are talking with another customer.  The world does not revolve around the fact that you need an extra side of salad dressing.  Your business is very much appreciated…..just as much as the person who’s in the middle of being helped.  Simply wait until the server is done with the current customer and then say, “Excuse me…” and follow with your request.

OH JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!  Are you really letting your kid do barefooted headstands at the table in a restaurant?  At this point its the PARENTS that deserve to be spanked.  This is bullshit!

OH JESUS FUCKING CHRIST! Are you really letting your kid do barefooted headstands at the table in a restaurant? At this point it's the PARENTS that deserve to be spanked. This is bullshit!

Mind Your Children: I love kids.  They are cute little creatures that move around and act like people.  But no matter how precious your child might be outside of a restaurant, they are shitty liabilities once inside.  Think about it: if someone came into your work who made loud screeching noises when they didn’t get what they wanted, winged spoons and Cheerios across the room, and then left a giant mess when they departed, they would be called “assholes” and you would stop doing business with them.  Right?  Now why do you think it’s ok to let your children do that in a restaurant?

Look, I realize that raising kids is not easy, especially when they are just figuring out that having motor skills means being able to throw things.  But your job as the ADULT is to clean up after your progeny.  I’ll even make it easy for you, just buy one of these placemats and bring it with you when you dine out.  Not only does it have a trough to catch all the shit your kid drops, but it’s easy to clean and it’s reusable.  And if you do leave big mess and tip poorly on top of it, I hope somebody shits on your carpet…and then rubs it in.

Go squat in abandoned buildings, not in restaurants!

Go squat in abandoned buildings, not in restaurants!

Don’t Be a Squatter: If a restaurant is really busy, like there is a line of people waiting to be seated, don’t just sit there jabbering away after you eat.  It’s one thing to chill for a couple minutes after your meal and finish your drink, but hanging out for longer that 10 minutes is called loitering.  It’s also called be extremely inconsiderate.  You’re not only being rude to other patrons, you’re also fucking with the server’s money.  It’s quite simple: the less tables a server gets, the less tips they get.  The servers tip out everyone else, and therefore, everyone is getting less money.  Do you like it when people fuck with your income?

Aint that the truth?

Ain't that the truth?

Tipping: I can’t stress how important it is to leave a good tip. For people who wait tables or bartend, tips are a major part of their income because the hourly wage is absolute shite!  I just read in Travel and Leisure Magazine that the average wage for servers in the US is $4.81!  So yeah, tips are important.  Having been a server for most of my adult life, I can’t tell you how insulting it is when you bust your ass to please someone only to receive a crappy tip. Therefore I will give you a rough guide to tipping. Tip your server 20%. How hard is that? I guess 18% is acceptable, but anything less than that sucks.  And if you’re in a bar tip a buck a drink.

Consider yourself as being a patron of the arts. Most of the servers and bartenders I know only do it because it gives them enough freedom to pursue what they really want in life, so this means that by tipping well you’re helping artists, writers, actors and others survive. How’s this, if you think tipping 20% is too expensive, then just get your food to go and leave a couple bucks.  Tipping on to-go orders often helps supplement the income of the other restaurant employees like, hosts, bussers and the kitchen.

Basically what I’m saying is that bad tippers shouldn’t be allowed in restaurants or bars.  Those people are not upholding their end of the social contract and therefore shouldn’t be allowed to participate.

Now that you know how to behave in a restaurant, go out and get yourself a bite to eat.  Help keep this economy afloat dammit!  Stay tuned for future installments of How to Behave in a Restaurant.

Share This Page

About the author

Broke-Ass Stuart - Editor In Cheap

I've been called "an Underground legend": SF Chronicle , "an SF cult hero": SF Bay Guardian, and "the chief of cheap": Time Out New York, but to those familiar with my work, I'm just "that douchebag who writes books about cheap stuff and drinks a lot".
  • http://routinefly.com J.T.

    couldn’t agree more.

  • mr. kreaky bones

    Why tip 20% since California servers make state minimum wage? Didn’t the standard used to be 15%? What a scam! Restaurants would rather have their staff beg for extra handouts instead of paying decent wages.

  • http://brokeassstuart.com Broke-Ass Stuart – Editor In Cheap

    I totally agree that the whole system is totally screwed up and that it should be restaurants that are paying their staff instead of the patrons. BUT that’s just not the culture that we live in.

    Also, you’re right: SF is extremely lucky to have such a great minimum wage for the service industry. BUT not everyone who reads this site is in SF. We get readers from all over the world and tons from NYC where the serving wage is less than $5.

  • http://sflovestory.wordpress.com Kristen Holden

    I loiter, and happily. I think this is just fine.

    HOWEVER, my lowest tip is 20% and if I stay for awhile (yes, over ten minutes but not, like, an hour), I leave more.

    I think that’s pretty fair. Judging by the treatment I get at my regular spots, the servers seem to agree.

    Now that I think about it, tipping generously can excuse a good number of dining no-nos. Except unruly kids. Unless the parents tip everyone else in the restaurant, too. Dreamy.

  • http://brokeassstuart.com Broke-Ass Stuart – Editor In Cheap

    Word. Excellent tipping generally makes most things acceptable, as long as it’s not being used to make up treating the staff like shit.

  • Jeremy

    I do agree with most everything in the article, but the loitering part does make for a frustrating situation on both ends.

    Personally, I do try to leave quickly after eating as I know the staff depends on turnover for money. On the flip side though, it really does make for a more enjoyable time if you can enjoy your food, drink and company without someone lurking over you attempting to Jedi mind trick you out the door. This is especially true if you’re on a budget and have splurged for a rare dinner at a nice restaurant. I know that I’ve been given the bill before finishing my food and it makes me wonder how this is better than eating at home.

    Unfortunately, as Stuart said, it’s a product of the system and that’s probably not going to change any time soon. Tipping good is probably the best compromise, but I guess there’s no way for a server to know that the people will actually do this (I imagine the percentages say they won’t…).

  • http://brandonlarssolem.com Brandon Gobi

    One more thing to ad here

    When the bartender or server gives you something for free, still tip.

    As a DJ, I always tip the bartender when they give me my free drinks. Like good tips to, as in like three dollars a drink or somthing.

    However when I bartend and give people free drinks they rarely ever tip.

    It just blows my mind.

  • 92110

    So what is an appropriate guideline for tipping in SF taking into account the good wages and health care??

  • http://sflovestory.wordpress.com Kristen Holden

    Totally with Brandon Gobi. Tipping $3 for a free drink is a good way to get more free drinks. I’ve been a bartender and trust me, we remember you.

  • quinne

    mr. kreaky bones–
    a. it also costs more to live in CA than anywhere else (mostly), and
    b. it doesn’t matter WHAT the wage is–as a former server for many years, your paycheck still ends up being about $3 every two weeks, because the restaurant is required to report a certain percentage of sales as gratuities, and by the time these taxes are removed from your paltry paycheck, you have nothing left.
    c. also as a former server, i think that the system, though flawed, ain’t changin’ soon, so deal with it and play into it. if your server’s a neglectful asshole, 15% his ass. unless he REALLY sucks, then go ahead and punish him for it, since he’s punishing you. unless you look around and he’s slammed or something, and simply CAN’T give you good service for reasons beyond his control. then take pity. otherwise, hook a workin’ man up. it ain’t easy being a good server
    d. i’ve long said that it should be mandatory in society for people to work in both retail and the service industry. for 6 months each. i think people would treat each other a little better all around if they really understood any of it by dealing with everyone else’s bullshit firsthand.

  • http://www.adrianreynoldsphotography.com Adriano

    I’m in the restaurant industry (sommelier) but I’ve worked all positions front of house and some in back, but I’m always struck by how some think a tip is an entitlement, that 20% is automatic. It still has to be earned and more often than not, it is…but not every time. I happily leave 20% if I am satisfied w/the overall dining experience, notwithstanding how hard the server hustles. A lax server but an outstanding meal food/wine wise more than likely will get 20%. So, to me it’s about the whole experience and I reel off a checklist…food was great, ok, wine too, ok, ambience/noise level, ok, server was good, not perfect but good, he/she gets 20%,etc. I rarely encounter bad service b/c I frequent places that are known for good service…today I walked out of a pizzeria in Milan b/c I could tell the server was harried, the food didn’t look that great, and the place was too packed, not that tipping is involved here anyway. Pardon the ramble.

  • uh-duh

    There may be a reason you remain “broke-ass” and don’t own a restaurant of your own. If you were my employee and espoused etiquette for the clientele, you’d be sh#tcanned on the spot. While you certainly can have an opinion about how people should act, it is incumbent about any employee in a service industry to treat EVERY customer with equal respect, wether they adhere to your ideals or not. What’s more important here, relative to your primary categories is this:

    Be Respectful: If the client is not respectful, the server should muster every bit of energy to provide exemplary service, despite their requests. No matter how obnoxious they may seem, they are important to the establishment and you should do everything you can to appease them.

    Mind Your Children: If the client brings children and they are not behaved, that is their own problem and you are to do as much as possible to not add to the situation. If you engage the children running in the restaurant and help redirect them to their table, in an insanely friendly manner, you have done your job well.

    Don’t Be a Squatter: If someone is squatting, politely use the subtle tactics you were taught to encourage the table to turn. But be incredibly cordial and gracious the entire time. If it is going to turn to less than subtle hints, the manager will step in and you continue to smile.

    Tipping: You will give exemplary service no matter what the tip and will continue to do so even if the bad tipper is your regular customer.

    From the owner’s side – we will support your efforts in every way and reward you for being an exemplary employee (mostly by allowing you to work for us, but additionally by remaining loyal and supportive of those who are with the program). What we will not tolerate are “broke-ass” types who think that their issues are more important than our customers.

  • Juan

    good tips. As the father of a two-year-old who likes to eat in restaurants, I heartily agree with your section on kids. Parents should control their kids from bothering other patrons with flying food and running around. We can’t really do anything about the occasional whining/annoying chatter that toddlers love. Then again, we don’t take our kid to fancy spots. AND, we usually are in and out of a place by 630. So don’t give me the stink eye, fellow diner, if my kid breaks into impromptu song at Front Porch or Limon Rotisserie. I’ve had to endure plenty of annoying chatter over the years from grownups in restaurants.

    Plus, parents should always tip at least 20%, if not so much for the server as for the busser that has to clean the crap from under our table.

    Is 20% on a bill usually interpreted as the total or the pre-tax amount?

  • http://myspace.com/kingofthehiphopsaxophone Mani Vafaei

    Ditto.

  • http://sebastianparker.blogspot.com Sebastian

    You’ve hit the hammer on the fucking nail. I’ve been there, and your article rings true from top to bottom.

  • Joaquin

    I agree with the tipping on free stuff comment. Why would you not tip someone on the free stuff they gave you, especially if you requested the item. That is really bad. Usually if someone is hooking you up with free stuff it means they like you and they expect that you would return the favor by tipping them for their kindness. Oh yeah, and if you return to the establishment that hooked you up, guess what? They not going to hook you up again dummy.

  • http://www.twitter.com/cookiewagsf logan

    juan: regarding pre or post tax amount, i always tip on the post tax amount, because while technically it may be proper to tip on the pre-tax amount, it’s easier for me to just glance at the total and calculate 20%. the difference in tip is probably less than a dollar anyway and i would rather err on the side of bigger tips. being a server, i know that while that extra dollar or two may not pay my rent, it helps lift my spirits and tells me that i did a good job. putting a smile on a server’s face is a good thing!

    uh-duh: i know stuart personally (and used to serve alongside him), and while his blog posts can be snarky and tongue-in-cheek, rest assured that he is extremely nice and professional in these trying circumstances. a good server will never break character at a table, no matter who’s snapping their fingers, tugging at their aprons, throwing things or yelling. it’s how we all keep our jobs and pay our bills! “customer service” should be changed to be called “acting”.

  • http://brokeassstuart.com Broke-Ass Stuart – Editor In Cheap

    Logan: Thanks for the props!

    Uh-Duh: ANY server knows that part of the job is taking things with a grain of salt and smiling through them. We’re not stupid; we know where our money comes from and we don’t want to bite the hand that feeds us.

    BUT your whole “Know your place” attitude is appalling. The truth of the matter is that some people just don’t know how to act in a restaurant, and if you own one, you know EXACTLY what I’m talking about. How many times have you gotten a bad yelp review and thought to yourself, “That person has no idea how a restaurant works”? Dude, I’m not just doing this shit for myself and other servers, this is for you too homie!

    Here’s the thing: I don’t just treat every customer with equal respect, I strive to treat every human I meet with equal respect. And that is exactly why etiquette on how to behave in a restaurant is important. Respect is a two way street, and in restaurants it’s usually unrequited.

    I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen servers treated as emotional punching bags. It’s a classic power play: someone is having a bad day, maybe they hate their boss, and since they can’t effect the things that actually bother them they lash out at the things (people) they have power over. It’s the same reason people beat their wives and kids. The situation here though is that, since the client is providing the tips, they feel they have the power to act as they wish. These same people would NEVER have the balls to treat strangers in the street like that, but since someone’s job is to serve them food, it suddenly becomes acceptable to be an asshole.

    What I’m attempting to do through this post (and the ones that will follow) is to let the general populace in a little secret: you should treat others the way that you wish to be treated, even if those others are serving you food.

  • Pete McMenemy

    Other then cranky frank being able to call out ‘garçon, coffee!’the only other people that should be allowed to ask for attention are attractive and potentially sexually exploitable women that i serve during a service

  • http://http://howtobeagoodserver.blogspot.com/ Springs1

    “just get your food to go and leave a couple bucks. Tipping on to-go orders often helps supplement the income of the other restaurant employees like, hosts, bussers and the kitchen.”

    Tipping on to-go orders should ONLY be done if the to-go order is delivered to someone’s vehicle and ONLY if the order is obviously correct(meaning only the things that can be seen without having to touch the food such as a missing side of ranch), but if the person is picking it up inside, it’s the same thing as a fast food cashier does or even MORE work for the fast food cashier at times or sometimes the SAME amount of work as a non-fast food worker does to fix a to-go order.

    For instance, you get a breakfast at McDonald’s to-go such as the hotcakes and sausage. The CASHIER has to get the utensils, a syrup or 2, and 2 butters. The CASHIER also has to get some jelly for the sausage for me, since I like jelly with my sausage as well. They have to bag your food. The cashier does the basic things as ringing you up and if the person pays with cash, they give them change just as if I were to get something to go at a non-fast food restaurant.

    That was MORE WORK than if I got let’s say a pasta dish to-go from Applebee’s let’s say. At Applebee’s, the have an ALL-N-ONE napkin, utensils, and pepper/salt packets, while McDonald’s you sometimes have to ask for pepper packets at times which I know, I have had to ask for that for my fries. The McDonald’s cashiers have put me tartar sauce in a cup for me for no tip. They have also had to get a fork for my hotcakes in one box and in another box a knife for no tip. Do you see where I am coming from? WHY tip, when the customer is RECEIVING basically fast food service here, NOTHING MORE? It’s the same amount of work as if I got an appetizer that has a condiment or an extra condiment added. There’s no more work to tip FOR. The amount the worker makes has ZERO to do with the amount of work being done. I tip FAIRLY that if I cannot tip that McDonald’s worker doing the SAME OR LESS work, WHY is it FAIR or MORALLY RIGHT to PAY YOU? Be mad at your employer for that. I have even had a Wendy’s worker actually put my burger together at a odd time like mid-afternoon when I guess the staff was low. She put my onions, mayo, and lettuce on my burger. Someone else did put the fries on the tray, but SHE filled my cup with ice and dr. pepper. SHE got me a cup with mayo(because I hate the packets due to the taste mostly and having to open each one) and a cup with mustard in it. The cashier rung us up and gave us back our receipt/change. That was MORE work than a lot of to-go orders are for NO tip at all.

    I am ONLY talking about to-go orders to not tip for as far as picking it up inside. My husband and I have tipped 20%-30% when dining in FOR GOOD SERVICE that is, but to-go orders we NEVER, EVER, EVER tip. We have never done the car-side-to-go thing. I have tipped at Sonic before a number of times, because they deliver your food to your car in the heat, rain, cold, etc. I would never want to not pick up the food inside, because I order complicated orders that usually something gets forgotten or wrong, so I’d rather pick the food up inside so I can get the mistakes fixed quicker. We rarely get take-out, but if we do, we NEVER, EVER tip, because it’s a lot of times even LESS work than a fast food cashier does. It sure is.

    A good example, once order some items to-go at a pizza restaurant. They had some sandwich that had chicken and I added ranch and bbq sauce. Guess what when I picked it up? The bag I picked up had NO ranch or bbq sauce. I couldn’t have imagined if I would have had it delivered to our house. I would have been FURIOUS and NOT tipped as well as complained. Those condiments are just like not having the food, because the entire point to make it taste good is the condiments, so without them, don’t bother bringing me the food. Anyway, that’s even more of a reason not to tip, because even my receipt had the condiments listed and no one took the TIME to look in the bag.

    There’s NO reason to tip on a to-go order unless you are getting it delivered to your car or house, otherwise, it’s not fair to other people that do the SAME or LESS amount of work that cannot receive tips.

    “Tipping on to-go orders often helps supplement the income of the other restaurant employees like, hosts, bussers and the kitchen.”

    For starters, usually the SERVERS have to tip out the other employees a certain percentage of *SALES*, NOT out of tips at most restaurants.

    Secondly, people that are getting something to go don’t deal with hostess or host, nor do they get ANY service from them.

    Thirdly, the people in the kitchen aren’t the people serving me. They are the kitchen staff, just as when I tip my server when I am dining inside, I am not tipping the kitchen staff.

    Forthly, MOST IMPORTANTLY, it’s NOT OUR JOB AS CUSTOMERS TO PAY THESE OTHER PEOPLE ON FAST FOOD SERVICE!! We aren’t even paying them anyways, that’s the to-go SERVER’S job or BARTENDER’S job.

    http://www.fohguild.org/forums/general/29367-take-out-tipping-9.html?highlight=takeout

    06-28-07
    Korioni said:

    “I currently work for Chili’s, and this is how it goes:
    Hostess: starts at 7.50 an hour
    Busser: 2.80 an hour + 2.5% of the restraunt’s total sales during their shift, split between any bussers clocked in. (the later comes directly out of the server’s tips)
    Server: 2.15 an hour + tips.
    Cook: Starts at 8.50 an hour.
    Bartender: Hourly wage and gets a portion of their sales.
    Expo: Hourly wage and gets tipped out by servers.
    TOGO: 7.00 per hour + their own tips(not tipped out by servers)”

    My point being, at SOME restaurants, the servers get paid VERY WELL without tips for take-out as you can see. I know some places, the servers only make $2.13/hr for take-out, but I am just saying some make a hell of a lot more. Also, at some restaurant bars, the bartenders make around $5/hr at some restaurants.

    http://sacramento.momslikeme.com/members/JournalActions.aspx?m=6632251&g=190546

    ABetterYou said: ” Bartenders MAY make $5/hour”

    Even if the server/bartender only makes $2.13/hr, you have to think about WHAT did you do for that customer that was *MORE WORK* than a fast food worker that gives you counter service? If you cannot think of anything, neither can I. If you have a way to PROVE you do more work, then I may change my mind, but until then, there shouldn’t honestly be ANY tipping for a to-go order unless it is delivered to your vehicle. Taking an order over the phone is just like being in person, no difference here.

  • Adam

    One more thing that I’m amazed you didn’t include in point #1 (Be respectful):

    Say “Please” and “Thank you.” It doesn’t cost anything, and it makes it clear that you aren’t an ass.

  • Zack Brewer

    Some people say that restaurants should pay their servers enough so that “we” the customers, don’t have to. First of all, every restaurant owner would add that extra cost of doing business immediately onto the bill, which means “we” would be paying anyway. Secondly, why would you want your SERVER to be working for the restaurant? I want my server to be working for me. Duh. So if you imagine that the server is your temporary employee, you should treat them as you would want to be treated by your employer. That said, the only time you should not tip (or tip a negligible amount e.g. coins) is when your server literally does nothing. If they show up to your table and ultimately bring food to you, they deserve something. Obviously. I think many people realize that a server is their temporary employee, and take advantage of that rare situation of power to mistreat servers in the same way that they are mistreated at their workplace. This is despicable. I would imagine that if you’re one of these people, you would know it upon reading this, even if you hadn’t realized it before. If you are one of these people, fuck you.

  • ihatecocktails

    $1 per drink works for a well gin and crappy tonic from a gun, or a simple draft or bottle of beer. BUT say you order a Tanqueray Martini, a Sidecar and a Negroni, each lovingly made with proper technique at $9 each – $3 tip doesn’t cut it. If you order those drinks at a table and the mandatory 20% rule is followed then you’d likely tip $5 or maybe $6 on that round.
    And why do people think tipping some random amount on a bottle of wine opened at the bar makes sense? Just because it’s opened at the bar you get to tip 10%? or less? Again – same service table-side warrants twice the tip? Or after your meal do you look at the bill, find the bottle of wine, subtract out it’s amount, calculate your tip without the bottle price, and then add 10% of the bottle’s cost to your tip – highly doubt that.

  • Richard

    I simply refuse to eat anyplace in which a tip is expected. Let them pay their workers a decent wage. Let the consumer be able to tell at a glance what the “honest” cost of each item is.

    I’ll just boycott them altogether, let the young fools pay supplement their insufficient wages… not me. :)

  • http://facebook lauren

    Please feel free to join my servers page! I am also on a mission to get the word out there!!

    Facebook:
    Servers make $2.13 an hour

  • Emily Wells

    I agree with all of the points you made, especially the kids. I have three kids under the age of 9, so we don’t eat out much, LOL When we do, however, they know not to act like a bunch of wild animals while we’re at a restaurant (or anywhere in public, for that matter). It drives me ***INSANE*** when people let their kids run loose in restaurants. Or let them talk at a deafening volume and don’t shush them. HELLO?! The only one I sort of don’t agree with is the tipping. I always tip a minimum of 20% (usually closer to 25%) if I get great service. However, if the service is shit, I see the server standing around gabbing with coworkers while my food is sitting under the heat lamp and drying out, I have to ask more than once for something (refills, napkins, etc.) there’s no fucking way I’m leaving anywhere close to 20%. I’ll never stiff someone–that’s just plan rude. And a word to servers out there (not sure if you guys know this, or maybe I’m the only one who feels this way?) if you’re cool with my kids (letting them order their own meal, interracting with them, etc.) I’ll tip even more. It makes my older two (8 and 9) feel totally special. :) I’m not saying kiss their asses and grovel to them, LOL Just make eye contact and treat them like human beings (vs. doing what some servers do and ignore them and expect me to order, slamming their food down in front of them like they’re doing them a favor, etc.). Does this make sense?!

  • Eric

    Servers will NEVER get paid less than min wage. Their base pay might be low, but with tips it will add up to more than min wage or else the employer will have to make up the difference. Not sure why everyone likes to quote that servers make some paltry $2 wage and patrons rob them when they give a low tip since they go home making nothing without getting tips.

    Also, most servers don’t pay income tax on 100% of their tips (how many do you think really report 100% of it?). Where is the outcry from this fact? Bottom line is that servers/bartenders are making more than they deserve. It’s a manual labor job that doesn’t require any sort of education.

  • Andrew Tyree

    Most servers I work with DO have a college education. Also, if a table tips poorly, the owners never make up the difference, Eric. Do you work in a restaurant? Have you ever? You clearly don’t know what you’re talking about. As far as claiming your tips, it is required by law to claim 100% of them and at the last restaurant I worked in, we were required to claim 18% of our total sales. Therefore, if someone tipped less than that, we were being taxed MORE than what was actually left.

    Like Stewart said, if you’re not holding up your end of the social agreement, please stay out of restaurants. There are many people who do!