Black Friday Bonanza!

While any of you that read this site certainly don’t have the salary to be an active participant of Crabonanza 2009 [I hear the catch this year sucks anyway!], there are more definitely some activities to get you into the holiday spirit after stuffing your face all day. And FYI: football is no excuse to unbutton your pants and sit like a fat ass on the couch. You’ll be hating yourself next month when you can’t fit into that hot little number on NYE. Trust me on this — don’t be a slob!


If you’re insane and might possibly want to get killed to save some money:

I know a lot of you will fit into this first category, which means you’ll be battling it out at the biggest department stores to get your dad that Ed Hardy shirt he wants because “all the kids are wearing them these days.” Fear not, as the one of the only two malls in San Francisco is actually having a Dunkin Donuts outpost that will be having free coffee from 6am-2pm! It isn’t much to get you out of bed and over to Stonestown [aka Middle of Nowhere, Not actually SF, etc.], but it is a little extra incentive to keep pushing on for those saved pennies.


If you’re hungover and planning on not getting out of bed until 4 but want to do something that might get you in the spirit:

If you ended up with that childhood friend of yours after too many Irish coffee’s and spiked eggnog, fear not: the onset of Christmas should cheer you up! It really doesn’t start to feel like the season has started until Macy’s throws up their million wreaths in every single window. The Christmas tree lighting is bound to put that really cheesy smile on your face that will definitely make you feel like its that time of the year. Just don’t trip over the wires.

And since all this shit is FREE, you’ll still be taking part in Buy Nothing Day!  Fuck Consumerism!

Free Dunkin Donuts Coffee at Stonestown
6am-2pm
Look for the idiot mascot in the Donut costume. ‘Nuff Said.

Macy’s Annual Tree Lighting Ceremony
6-6:30pm
Union Square
FREE, but you can pledge $10 for UCSF’s Children’s Hospital and support a light. I know you motherfuckers don’t have a lot to give, but karma always pays you back in one way or another.

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About the author

Monica Miller - The Intern

Ms. Miller was born in San Diego, CA to one lesbian mother and one righteous, cheap father. Currently, she is enrolled at San Francisco State University for a B.A. in Journalism and the approximate completion date is around 2015. She has worked for many papers in the Bay Area, including the Oakland Tribune and the San Mateo Country Times and is currently the city editor at one of the most underappreciated publications in SF, the Golden Gate [X]press. Though she may find bargains aplenty, it only stems from the necessity of never landing an actual job and working for hacks [like Stuart.] With intelligence, style, poise, bite, and honesty, she will rip your heart out; but not before writing some awesome, poignant shit. This year, she is looking forward to bigger and better things such as: trying to get paid for a gig, actually finding a date that isn't a loser or fucking crazy, not calling her parents when hungover and bringing you the best of the 7x7 everyday of the week. [By the way, I wasn't kidding about the date thing; if you love food, booze and shoegaze, get at me.]

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