Broke-Asses of the Week – Comedy Duo Eliot and Ilana Glazer
Eliot and Ilana Glazer are funny people. You can tell just by the answers to the questions below. I guess that’s why they went into comedy then isn’t it? But despite sharing a last name, they aren’t married; they’re actually siblings (which would make it really fucking disgusting if they were married).
Luckily for you, if you wanna see Eliot and Ilana do their thing live, you can peep them at the next edition of their long-running sketch show, High School Talent Show, Which plays at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theater on Saturday, January 30 at midnight. Tickets can be reserved here and they’re only $5!
Name: Eliot and Ilana Glazer
Age: 26 and 22, respectively
Occupation: Brother-and-sister comedians (but, really, freelance writer and waitress, respectively)
What neighborhood do you live in?: Park Slope and South Slope, respectively
Best money saving tip: Eliot won’t order in more than once a week; Ilana carries around about as much cash as a homeless person
What do you refuse to spend money on?: Ilana bums cigarettes and won’t subscribe to magazines (so she steals them from the gym, instead), while Eliot refuses to buy â€œfancy clothesâ€ (meaning anything that doesn’t makes him look like he was recently shipwrecked)
Most expensive thing you’ve ever bought: Ilana leased a sublet in Soho; Eliot paid a hefty adoption fee for his dog
How’d that feel?: Ilana: â€œNot worth itâ€; Eliot: â€œTotally worth it.â€
Favorite cheap eat: Our comedy writing spot of choice: B&H Dairy on 3rd Avenue â€“ it’s so filthy, you might leave with some sort of bacterial infection, but the tomato soup and fresh challah are well worth the consequential itching.
Best deal you’ve ever gotten: Eliot scored a ton of free theater tickets while in college, when he was the â€œmannyâ€ for the child of a top Broadway producer; Ilana inherited one of Mary Kate Olsen’s hand-me-downs from a roommate who â€œworkedâ€ for the twins, or â€œhelped pick out a chandelier for Ashley one timeâ€.
Favorite free thing to do: Ilana likes walking through the Greenwood Cemetery, while Eliot loves frequenting free movie screenings and game show tapings, for which the crazies come out EN MASSE.
If you woke up a millionaire, what’s the first thing you’d buy?: Eliot would buy property in Victorian Flatbush, while Ilana would buy drapes.
Despite not having money, do you still love your life?: What if we were to say no here?
Do you own my book?: Again, what if we were to say no here?
Best hangover cure: Eliot doesn’t get hangovers. Ilana prefers pot and coffee.
Are you a hipster?: We both have too many skin problems to be hipsters (unless rosacea is ironic now?).