Broke-Asses of the Week – Comedy Duo Eliot and Ilana Glazer

Every week we feature a different person from the community shedding a little light on their life of brokeitude.  Who knows, maybe you’ll learn something about the human spirit…probably not.

Wanna be a Broke-Ass of the Week?  Holler at us here and we’ll send you the questionnaire.

Eliot and Ilana Glazer are funny people.  You can tell just by the answers to the questions below.  I guess that’s why they went into comedy then isn’t it?  But despite sharing a last name, they aren’t married; they’re actually siblings (which would make it really fucking disgusting if they were married).

Luckily for you, if you wanna see Eliot and Ilana do their thing live, you can peep them at the next edition of their long-running sketch show, High School Talent Show, Which plays at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theater on Saturday, January 30 at midnight.  Tickets can be reserved here and they’re only $5!

Name: Eliot and Ilana Glazer

Age: 26 and 22, respectively

Occupation: Brother-and-sister comedians (but, really, freelance writer and waitress, respectively)

What neighborhood do you live in?: Park Slope and South Slope, respectively

Best money saving tip: Eliot won’t order in more than once a week; Ilana carries around about as much cash as a homeless person

What do you refuse to spend money on?: Ilana bums cigarettes and won’t subscribe to magazines (so she steals them from the gym, instead), while Eliot refuses to buy “fancy clothes” (meaning anything that doesn’t makes him look like he was recently shipwrecked)

Most expensive thing you’ve ever bought: Ilana leased a sublet in Soho; Eliot paid a hefty adoption fee for his dog

How’d that feel?: Ilana: “Not worth it”; Eliot: “Totally worth it.”

Favorite cheap eat: Our comedy writing spot of choice: B&H Dairy on 3rd Avenue – it’s so filthy, you might leave with some sort of bacterial infection, but the tomato soup and fresh challah are well worth the consequential itching.

Favorite dive bar: McManus Pub on 19th St. and 7th Ave. is great for spotting friendly hookers, champion alkies, and comedy nerds too lazy to leave Chelsea after a show at the UCB Theater.

Best deal you’ve ever gotten: Eliot scored a ton of free theater tickets while in college, when he was the “manny” for the child of a top Broadway producer; Ilana inherited one of Mary Kate Olsen’s hand-me-downs from a roommate who “worked” for the twins, or “helped pick out a chandelier for Ashley one time”.

Favorite free thing to do: Ilana likes walking through the Greenwood Cemetery, while Eliot loves frequenting free movie screenings and game show tapings, for which the crazies come out EN MASSE.

If you woke up a millionaire, what’s the first thing you’d buy?: Eliot would buy property in Victorian Flatbush, while Ilana would buy drapes.

Despite not having money, do you still love your life?: What if we were to say no here?

Do you own my book?: Again, what if we were to say no here?

Best hangover cure: Eliot doesn’t get hangovers. Ilana prefers pot and coffee.

Are you a hipster?: We both have too many skin problems to be hipsters (unless rosacea is ironic now?).

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About the author

Broke-Ass Stuart - Editor In Cheap

I've been called "an Underground legend": SF Chronicle , "an SF cult hero": SF Bay Guardian, and "the chief of cheap": Time Out New York, but to those familiar with my work, I'm just "that douchebag who writes books about cheap stuff and drinks a lot".
  • http://melaniehamlett.com Melanie Hamlett

    I’ve never seen this website before, but this is great! I LOVE broke people. Especially funny ones. Eliot and Ilana are two of my favorite funny, broke people for sure

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  • John_Hepp

    After watching just the first couple of episodes of Broad City I’m officially in love with Ilana. I give approximately one half of a single fuck that I’m making this comment on an interview that included her brother. What’re you gonna do about it breh? I’ll tell you what you should do. You should figure out some sorta fancy computer nerd way to stalk me and figure out who I am and what my phone number is. Then have Ilana call me. K brew?