Recently, I had a dream that I won $900,000,000.00 on a slot machine. In an effort to capitalize on what I was SURE was a premonition. My hubby and I took off for the always divine Atlantic City.
Our plan was to do this weekend getaway on a budget (until I won my millions, of course). Fortunately for us, it is possible to get a FREE room in Atlantic City. The way that you do that is you sign up for a â€˜rewards’ card. It is FREE to sign up and you swipe it for anything that you purchase within the casino/resort area. The more they register you spending, the more you â€˜rewards’ you receive. Obviously, the fastest way to do this is to swipe your card as you are losing serious money gambling. Since my husband has done that on a couple of occasions, he was rewarded with a complimentary room and voilaâ€¦ we get to have a FREE weekend in the jewel of New Jersey.
We ended up choosing to stay at Harrah’s Casino and Resort because the crowd there was supposed to be â€œyoungerâ€ and more fun. Harrah’s also has a giant pool with a bar that promised to make us feel like we were on a more exotic and pricey vacation. We managed a relaxing and entertaining weekend mostly because of the fun we had being in the presence of all those crazy people.
So, a special thanks to the characters we came across on our journeyâ€¦
#1 Buffet Couple
We arrived and decided to kick off our trip with a trip to the buffet. As we settled down for the first course of our ten course meal, we met the first of our many â€˜characters’ with which we would share our vacation. A middle-aged couple came in who looked like regulars at this establishment. They were being seated near us when the woman began screaming â€œToo far away from the food!!!â€ Since the waitress did not bat an eye at what I thought is a ridiculous comment I have to assume that this type of demand happens often. The waitress obliged by rerouting the couple to be â€˜closer to the food’. To this day I am not sure how you can be â€˜far away’ from that amount of foodâ€¦I meanâ€¦it went on forever. Mental noteâ€¦kill myself when walking ten feet at a restaurant is too much to take.
#2 Poolside Pals
After filling ourselves to the brim with roast beef and king crab legs we headed to the pool to have a couple frozen drinks and bask in the glory of the February New Jersey sun. The glassed-in pool area was packed with two main kinds of people â€“ those over 70 years of age and the morbidly obese. We watched as the hefty and aged floated around the pool, both groups happy to be free from the burdens of gravity. It was like â€œCocoon.â€ We suppressed the urge to call a â€˜chicken fight’ and sipped our tropical drinks served to us by our bikini-clad waitress. Nothing says â€˜vacation’ like a pool full of Q-Tips.
#3 Breakfast Lovers
While getting a bagel the next morning we overheard this fascinating conversation. When imagining this conversation, insert strong New Jersey accents, clothe them in sweats and turn the volume up to ten.
Woman: OK, Whatever. You were on your hands and knees all night last night begging my forgiveness. But whatever. Yah, go ahead! Go ahead and gamble again until ten o’clock at night. See if I care!â€
Man: â€œTake care of yourself.â€
I was amazed that I had heard a real life gambling fight. I was also amazed at his reaction. What does it mean, I wonderâ€¦Take care of yourself? Could it mean: â€œI am removing myself from this conversation, wife, because you are right and I am ashamed?â€œ Or, â€œSorry I lost our mortgage, wife, but â€“screw you- I am going to gamble some more?â€ Or even, â€œI am being cryptic in the hopes that I can confuse you into not being mad at me anymore.â€ I really hope those two worked it out.
Special mention: I also want to give a special shout out to all those elders who decided to go ahead and rent a scooter to get around the casino. It does seem to make it easier to park yourself at the slot machines. I picture themâ€¦diapers full and hearts hopeful of winnings around the corner. So cute! On the same tip, props also to the casino employee on the â€œsegueâ€ spinning in circles for ten minutes out of what I can only assume was sheer boredom.
You guys really made this weekend special!
In case you are wondering if my premonition came true with the slot machineâ€¦I mostly stuck to a game called â€˜Cheese Caper’ which stole my money and dashed my dreams of fortune. What can I say? I’m bitter.