I was supposed to be going home to Massachusetts this weekend to celebrate my mother’s birthday. Unfortunately, I went from kind of sick to seriously sick right before leaving and couldn’t go. Apparently that is something my husband says â€˜ happens every time’. So, now I have been sick on the couch for three days. Since my energy is low and my brain is barely functioning, I decided this week’s Broke-Ass post will revolve around my new reality as an invalid.
Observations and Hypotheticalsâ€¦on being sick.
* It seems like a cruel trick when it is really nice outside and I am sick inside. It almost makes me hate the sun (for a minute). I wonder if this is what vampires deal with on a daily basis? Cruel im/mortality.
* Popsicles are great because you can apply them directly to swollen tonsils. It feels like a medical procedure but don’t do it in public because men get the wrong idea.
More on popsiclesâ€¦
* I wish there were popsicles you could stick in your ear so you could cool off the inside of your head. Am I good at inventions or am I good at inventions?
* Getting sprayed with Lysol does not heal a sick person. Thank you, husband, for trying.
* Bad TV is addictive. Luckily there were some reruns of series’ finales so I wouldn’t have to wonder for the rest of my life who won these ridiculous contests. Too bad Shear Genius ended by awarding top prize to the lady who failed to do any hair in the final challenge. See, now it sounds like I care!
* Watching the News makes me feel worse.
* Watching cooking shows make me feel nauseous especially if the chef is Guy Fieri.
On the vampire tip:
* I did consider trying to eat a rare steak because it would give meâ€¦’some new, clean blood’. I scare myself sometimes.
* It is admirable to try to harness your cat to bring you juice and other things an invalid needs. It is unfortunate to have wounds in addition to feeling sick.
* Is it wrong to enjoy the various styles your hair creates as it becomes dirtier and more unwashed?
* Can something be â€œmore unwashedâ€?
* Is it wrong to enjoy that you are losing weight even though it is because you cannot eat solids?
Ok, even in my state I can realize that last one is FUCKED UP. It was the delirium talking. I take it back. I need to watch another episode of Jessica Simpson’s â€œThe Price of Beautyâ€ to process this. Moving onâ€¦
* I felt dehydrated so I ate some saltines. Is that equivalent to the olden days when people were thirsty they were told to suck on a salt lick? Why am I using health advice from â€œthe olden daysâ€?
Even more on popsiclesâ€¦
* How many popsicles is too many popsicles?
* When you are too tired to text a friend is it appropriate to text â€œTTTTâ€?
A judgment on one’s selfâ€¦
* If I were craftier I would do something productive with all these popsicle sticks.
* How do you say â€œsorryâ€ for infecting a loved one?