Broke-Ass Porn: The $5,000 Bill

Look at that sexy beast…wow.  Could you imagine holding this bill?  You’d be like, “Shit, man.  I’ve got $5,000 in my wallet.  Fuck buying a bacon wrapped hot dog, I can buy the whole cart and still have change left over to buy all the bootlegged DVDs on Mission Street!!”

There was a time, back before the interwebs, when banks used big bill denominations to transfer money between each other.  Instead of sending over tons of bags filled with $100 bills the US Mint printed up these fatty fuckers.  There was everything from a $500 bill up to a $100,000 bill.

What’s crazy is that these big bills were taken out of circulation back in 1969, which means that old Mr. Madison up there was actually worth about $29,000 last time he was used.  Imagine walking around with that in your pocket?  I’d feel nervous as shit.

Someone, I don’t remember who, told me a story that they were in line at the post office and a really old guy (like 90 years old) showed the person a $1000 bill that he had in his wallet.  To answer your question, no he didn’t beat up the old guy and take the money, although that would be a pretty good story.

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About the author

Broke-Ass Stuart - Editor In Cheap

I've been called "an Underground legend": SF Chronicle , "an SF cult hero": SF Bay Guardian, and "the chief of cheap": Time Out New York, but to those familiar with my work, I'm just "that douchebag who writes books about cheap stuff and drinks a lot".

2 Comments

  1. Kate says:

    I discovered yesterday that bacon wrapped hot dogs are even delishis when sober!

    WHO KNEW?

    (That 5k bill is a sexy, sexy beast.)

  2. Yes, they are good sober. But better drunk :)

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