$1 Slices at 2 Bros Pizza

I love buying things for $1.  There is no change, no counting bills.  At the corner store it doesn’t matter if there is a line or the clerk is on the phone or making a sandwich,  I just make eye-contact, show the bag of chips and throw the bill on the counter, all wordless, casual and cool-like.  Customers are probably thinking “Who is this guy and what the fuck are crab flavored Utz.” FYI, I now know that crab flavored Utz are dees-gusting.

It’s a little harder to feel like a gangster in 2 Brothers’ Pizza, unless you actually are one.  I ordered in Mexican Spanish wey, but it didn’t really help.  In the old days this place would be for sud-sopping.  You’d wobble in on your way to the F train, try not to slur your order, slur your order, and then leave with new pimples around your greasy mouth.

These days though, not just drunks are out on Saturday nights – the token early-drunk asked for the bathroom and was told to piss in the street. Teen skaters huddled over the low-boy table in their black skinnys and vans, a scruffy bike messenger ate alone with his helmet still on, a couple may have been on a date, a latino contingent sat with 3 baby strollers, and a guy in loafers and an ascot stood at the counter.  As I was leaving, a well-dressed man, like a real adult, and his wife, both Upper East Side types, came in.  Not bad for a place with only cheese pizza (it’s a fucking dollar, what’d ya expect) and a ceiling pipe that erupted when I was there.  Oh, they also have rice and chicken, but why would you try that?

Locations:
601 6th Avenue between 17th and 18th
32 St. Mark’s Place between 2nd and 3rd

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About the author

Oliver Hartman - Resident Bargain Whorespondent

Oliver was born in 1983, the year of the Pig according to the Chinese zodiac. He grew up in Whitefield, Maine, but since college has lived in Boston, Maui, Switzerland, Buenos Aires, San Francisco, Nicaragua, and New York making his bread as a waiter, cocktail boy, camp counselor, writer, english teacher, tennis instructor, guide, model, and design agency jackass.

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