Broke-Ass Porn

Broke-Ass Porn: The Most Money You’ve Ever Seen

Updated: Feb 12, 2015 14:00
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Once a week we present Broke-Ass Porn.  It’s visually stimulating material for the financially impaired.  If this shit doesn’t get you going, you’re not as broke as you thought:

Seriously.  If I had all this loot, I’d never talk to any of you again…ever. I’d be too busy doing Scrooge McDuck backstrokes all day long. Holy shit, my hands are trembling as I’m thinking about it.  This might be the best Broke-Ass Porn we’ve had yet.  What can be sexier to a broke-ass than this photo?

So, let’s make this interactive now.  Imagine you woke up to this in your living room, what are the first few things you’d spend your money on?  Leave your comments down below.

You know what the first thing I’d purchase would be?  Detroit.  Yup, the whole fucking city!  Just because I could.  Plus, buying it wouldn’t even put a dent in to that fortune.  I mean really, how much could Detroit cost anyways?

ps Thanks Dylan for this photo!

pps Did you know that Detroit’s motto is Speramus Meliora Resurget Cineribus which translates to, “We hope for better things; it will arise from the ashes”?  The fucked up thing about this is that it’s been Detroit’s motto since 1805.  I’m not even kidding.

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Broke-Ass Stuart - Editor In Cheap

Broke-Ass Stuart - Editor In Cheap

Stuart Schuffman, aka Broke-Ass Stuart, is a travel writer, poet, TV host, activist, and general shit-stirrer. His website BrokeAssStuart.com is one of the most influential arts & culture sites in the San Francisco Bay Area and his freelance writing has been featured in Lonely Planet, Conde Nast Traveler, The Bold Italic, Geek.com and too many other outlets to remember. His weekly column, Broke-Ass City, appears every other Thursday in the San Francisco Examiner. Stuart’s writing has been translated into four languages. In 2011 Stuart created and hosted the travel show Young, Broke, and Beautiful on IFC and in 2015 he ran for Mayor of San Francisco and got nearly 20k votes.

He's been called "an Underground legend": SF Chronicle, "an SF cult hero":SF Bay Guardian, and "the chief of cheap": Time Out New York.