A few years ago – at a gym to which I was indebted for two years but only went once a week, if that (complete waste of money, but it paid for itself with the BJs I got in the steam room. Holla!) – I took advantage of a yoga class. It was included in the fee I was having whisked automatically from my bank account the beginning of each month, so I thought why not.
As luck would have it, the first five minutes of the class made me realize “why not”: Yoga fucking sucks.
But even though yoga isn’t for me, I understand that there are a shit-ton of people out there who live and breath the Downward Facing Dog (perverts), among other brow-raising poses. So this one’s for you.
Yoga to the People – a “unique yoga studio with the goal of recapturing what we consider to be the essence of yogaâ€¦ simply put, yoga made available to everyone” – is now offering 60-minute, donation-based Power Vinyasa Flow classes at its St. Mark’s location. Now, if you’re as unyogafied as I am, you probably don’t know what vinyasa means, so allow me to explain. It’s an ancient system of yoga popularized by K. Pattabhi Jois. Not good enough? Then look it up your damn self.
N-E-Way (and, yes, I totally just snapped my fingers at you in a Z formation), classes are heat-free (because who the fuck needs heat when this city is on fire from June through August) and offered seven days a week. There’s a box in the studio where you can pay what you can – the suggested donation is $10, but nobody’s gonna bust your boobies if you can only cough up $4 or $5. And that’s a promise. I spoke to a lady on the phone who said that your broke ass is as welcome as anybody else.
Mats and water are available ($2 and $1, respectively); but if I know you, you’ll bring your own.
As well you should, too. Ever heard that story about the girl who got crabs from a tanning bed that wasn’t sanitized before she got in it? Mmhmm. Sharing a community yoga mat could have the same outcome.
OK, that’s debatable. But you’ve gotta admit – it’s better than telling your boyfriend that you got crotch lice because you’re a whore.
Power Vinyasa Flow Classes
Yoga to the People
12 St. Mark’s Place, 2R [East Village]
Btwn 2nd and 3rd aves.
Daily at scheduled times