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From the 90s Straight to Mi Corazon

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Guys, remember?  Remember, guys?

The West Beverly Spring Dance!

I know! Dress OMG! Bangs! First time we had sex with Dylan! The first time we saw David dance like the whitest try-hard whoever snuck backstage at a New Edition show!

Sometimes I talk about Beverly Hills 90210 THE ORIGINAL with such deep familiarity that people around me become uncomfortable.  And really, why shouldn’t they be? My love for Steve Sanders is deep and documented. I talk about characters on the show like they are real, intimate friends of mine and cite the show’s plotlines the way a talking head on the History Channel references Tienanmen Square or the Siege of Leningrad.  Is that weird? Probably.

BUT

It seems like I’m not the only 'œweirdo' 'œfixated' on a 'œtelevision show' from 'œthe 90s'. Looks like Isaac Mizrahi’s been watching a little bit of Season 2 himself cause look what he turned out for 2011 Resort!!!!

BOOM, baby! Like that.

For anyone who has watched Unzipped as many times as my BFF Adam and I have, (which is no one),  the marriage of these two most quintessentially 'œ90s' pieces of American popular culture is nothing short of poetic.

And I’d never wear the dress. That’s the thing. That’s the “take away' if you will. And I know you will, you slut.

The lesson that this episode obviously tried to teach us is that clothes and makeup and trying to be the hottest and other materialistic bullshit doesn’t really matter in the end because all that DOES matter is dancing like an asshole and having sex with your boyfriend at the Bel Age hotel and just having fun with your friends.

BUT….the other lesson is that a brunette never, ever looks better in black and white than a blonde does. They simply don’t. They can’t.  I am both a brunette and a vehement Brenda supporter but facts is facts and Kelly’s snow-white skin and weirdo Village of the Damned blonde hair is the perfect contrast for a black and white garment such as we see here. Brenda never stood a CHANCE.

BUT Brenda did fuck Dylan that night and Kelly ain’t fucked nobody which begs the question, who, ultimately, is the real winner?

Answer: They’re both winners.

Real Answer: Candy Spelling, Aaron Spellings widow.

Special thanks to Caitlin Collins for clueing me in in the first place.


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BAS Writers

BAS Writers

BAS Writers is mostly a collection of articles written by people for the early days of this site. Back then nobody knew that snarky articles they were writing could come back and haunt them when job searching a decade later.