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Broke-Ass Porn: Burritos

Updated: Apr 20, 2015 22:36
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Once a week we present Broke-Ass Porn.  It’s visually stimulating material for the financially impaired.  If this shit doesn’t get you going, you’re not as broke as you thought:

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There are few things more powerful within the mythology of the broke-ass than the burrito.  It’s a life sustaining thing.  Everyone knows that if you can get $5 together you can one, and for many of us a single burrito is good for two meals.  That is of course only if you live in California or the southwest.

So strong is the pull of the burrito that people who’ve never even been out west, show up on our golden shores already craving one.  They are blessed things.

I know for myself, anytime I spend more than a few days outside of California, I start fantasizing about burritos.  Last time I left the country for an extended period of time, my girlfriend met me at the airport with one because she knew how important it was.  A broke-ass without burritos is a very sad broke-ass indeed.

But there is one specific kind of burrito that trumps the rest, and up until recently, it could only be found in San Diego.  This is the California Burrito, one of mankind’s truly triumphant creations, and is a case study in “not fucking around”.  All it is is carne asada, cheese, salsa, guacamole, and french fries.  Yes you read that right, french fries.  There’s no rice, no beans, no filler of any kind, just pure deliciousness.  And the best part, is that they usually run about $3.00 and are almost impossible to finish.  Leftovers are my favorite meal of the day.  One thing though, don’t give me that shit about “hey that’s not authentic Mexican food man!” because that’s bullshit.  Burritos were invented in the US anyways.

So now it’s your turn.  Where’s your favorite place in the world to get a burrito?  Mine is El Cotixan on Clairemont Mesa Blvd. in San Diego.  I’d sell you out for a Cotixan California Burrito without thinking twice.

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Broke-Ass Stuart - Editor In Cheap

Broke-Ass Stuart - Editor In Cheap

Stuart Schuffman, aka Broke-Ass Stuart, is a travel writer, poet, TV host, activist, and general shit-stirrer. His website BrokeAssStuart.com is one of the most influential arts & culture sites in the San Francisco Bay Area and his freelance writing has been featured in Lonely Planet, Conde Nast Traveler, The Bold Italic, Geek.com and too many other outlets to remember. His weekly column, Broke-Ass City, appears every other Thursday in the San Francisco Examiner. Stuart’s writing has been translated into four languages. In 2011 Stuart created and hosted the travel show Young, Broke, and Beautiful on IFC and in 2015 he ran for Mayor of San Francisco and got nearly 20k votes.

He's been called "an Underground legend": SF Chronicle, "an SF cult hero":SF Bay Guardian, and "the chief of cheap": Time Out New York.