Broke-Ass Porn: Burritos

Once a week we present Broke-Ass Porn.  It’s visually stimulating material for the financially impaired.  If this shit doesn’t get you going, you’re not as broke as you thought:

There are few things more powerful within the mythology of the broke-ass than the burrito.  It’s a life sustaining thing.  Everyone knows that if you can get $5 together you can one, and for many of us a single burrito is good for two meals.  That is of course only if you live in California or the southwest.

So strong is the pull of the burrito that people who’ve never even been out west, show up on our golden shores already craving one.  They are blessed things.

I know for myself, anytime I spend more than a few days outside of California, I start fantasizing about burritos.  Last time I left the country for an extended period of time, my girlfriend met me at the airport with one because she knew how important it was.  A broke-ass without burritos is a very sad broke-ass indeed.

But there is one specific kind of burrito that trumps the rest, and up until recently, it could only be found in San Diego.  This is the California Burrito, one of mankind’s truly triumphant creations, and is a case study in “not fucking around”.  All it is is carne asada, cheese, salsa, guacamole, and french fries.  Yes you read that right, french fries.  There’s no rice, no beans, no filler of any kind, just pure deliciousness.  And the best part, is that they usually run about $3.00 and are almost impossible to finish.  Leftovers are my favorite meal of the day.  One thing though, don’t give me that shit about “hey that’s not authentic Mexican food man!” because that’s bullshit.  Burritos were invented in the US anyways.

So now it’s your turn.  Where’s your favorite place in the world to get a burrito?  Mine is El Cotixan on Clairemont Mesa Blvd. in San Diego.  I’d sell you out for a Cotixan California Burrito without thinking twice.

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About the author

Broke-Ass Stuart - Editor In Cheap

I've been called "an Underground legend": SF Chronicle , "an SF cult hero": SF Bay Guardian, and "the chief of cheap": Time Out New York, but to those familiar with my work, I'm just "that douchebag who writes books about cheap stuff and drinks a lot".
  • http://deweyhammond.com Dewey

    El Castillito in the Castro is all business. It’s one of the few places where I don’t always go veggie. The al pastor is fresher than Wallabees and the salsa verde might be the best in the City.

    http://www.yelp.com/biz/el-castillito-san-francisco-2

  • AnnaG

    OHGODOHGODOHGOD. I have never been more sad to be away from SD.

  • Jeremy

    Hey Stu, I’m in San Diego right now. :) What will you give me to bring back one of those Cotixan bundles of awesome? I’m thinking first born child or a package of 2nd and 3rd born together. Well,gotta go, the burritos wait for no man!

    P.S. For those of you going to Cotixan for the first time (and everyone should at least once in their life), the ones on Clairemont Mesa and Genesee switch off which is better at the moment…

  • Bruce Joaquin

    Yeah, don’t give me that “It’s not real Mexican food shit!” It’s called a “California Burrito” for crying out loud. My favorite spot is definitely Los Dos Pedros on Turquoise St on the PB\Birdrock border. You know. It’s that little shack by the West End. They add and egg to theirs and it will stay piping hot through a 20 minute drive! Another bonus is that the cheese is always completely melted, must come from assembling and wrapping the entire thing on the flat top grill. Damn, now I really want one!

  • Godlesscupcake

    Either El Buen Sabor in the Mission or Mario’s on Telegraph in Berkeley. (The guac at Mario’s is fucking amazing, btw).

  • Jeremy

    Almost forgot how much better the tortillas were in sd. Not gummy and no need for foil. Here’s another tip: you can ask them to fill a cup with their awesome hot sauce, then grab a squezze top bottle from the circle k and dump it in there. That was the best idea I ever had… Word of warning, there’s no preservatives so it’ll go bad.

  • larry

    El Cotixan has meat that tastes like dog food depending on when you go. Try Cotijas on Garnet in Pacific Beach, or their sister location in Mira Mesa.

    There have been a number of times where i went to Cotixan and received soggy fries in my burrito. Also the Tortilla has to be nicely toasted, which it never seems to be.

    Bay Area Transplant ~ San Diego Native

    -L

  • larry

    PS.. if you have never had the Hash brown burrito at Cotijas, you have never lived. (or atleast been on your way to a coronary bypass)

  • http://www.youfoundthecard.com Alan Scott

    I’m in Minneapolis. There’s no such thing as a good burrito here. We do have badass burgers, however. But that’s a story for another time.

  • Jeremy

    Los dos and cotijas are both awesome as well. You’re also pretty safe at any place painted with red and yellow stripes

  • http://brokeassstuart.com Broke-Ass Stuart – Editor In Cheap

    Truthfully, I haven’t been to El Cotixan in many years, so I’ve kinda put it on a pedestal. But I do dig Los Dos and Cotijas. I’d kill for either right now.

  • http://www.lacanastasf.com/ Barrett

    La Canasta 3006 Buchanan @ Union, TAKE OUT ONLY & delivery, no seating. Best Mexican food on the north side of San Francisco, bar none, at any price. IT’S ALL GOOD. Carne Asada & Carnitas expecially. Also fab tamales. 11AM TO 9PM.

  • Pingback: 2 for 1 Burritos at Taqueria Los Coyotes and Unsubstantiated Rumors « Broke-Ass Stuart’s Goddamn Website

  • http://mashedpotatoburrito.tumblr.com/ Niz

    Such is the allure of the humble burrito- I named my blog after my favorite type from Mariachi’s.