Whether it’s a blind date, online date, or just a date that didn’t exactly go as you thought it would, there is possibly no more anxiety-inducing feeling than being stuck on a date that is either excruciatingly boring, awkward or just going horribly wrong. So, how exactly does one get the hell out of there, exactly?
Well, I’ve certainly had my fair share of terrible dates, and this is what has worked for me:
1) Safety Netting With Your Roommate
This works best with a blind or internet date. Basically, you just have your roommate of friend text you about an hour into whenever the date is supposed to start to sort of check the temperature. If it’s going badly, you can just be like “Oh, my roommate was just mugged” or something like that and have an excuse to leave. If it’s going well, then your roommate knows you haven’t been murdered (yet). This is pretty much the most elementary way of getting out of pretty much anything.
2) Pretend You Have Pressing Plans
This is perfect if you didn’t do the whole safety netting thing with your roommate. The key here is to wait until there’s a bit of a lull, and be like, “Oh! Where did the time go? I totally have to meet these people”, etc and see your way out.
3) Suddenly Realizing You’re Gay or Straight
This is sort of in the category of last resorts, but if your date becomes super insistent or aggressive, you can pull the gay/straight card, depending on which one you aren’t. Like, “Uh, something suddenly came up…and it’s my penis….for other men.”
4) Pretend You’re Getting Back Together With Your Ex
This one is more for just people you might be lukewarm about and don’t want to hurt their feelings but are too much of an asshole to tell the truth. I’d say only use this if you’re just a really, really big scaredy cat and you’re absolutely certain they could never find out that this isn’t the case.
5) Being Honest
This works best if you have brass balls, or if your date legitimately offended or crossed the line with you. For example, one of my biggest regrets was when I went on a pretty innocuous (at first) date with this guy from the internet that actually turned out to be a casual RACIST. I obviously never called him again. I guess it caught me off-guard when he made some sort of horrible generalization over appetizers. I just didn’t know what to do. I’ll tell you what I should’ve done, though– said that he was being offensive in a sane, controlled way and gotten the hell out of Dodge, dinner or no dinner.