Shopping, Style and Beauty

What NOT to be for Halloween

It may seem a bit early to be musing on potential Halloween costumes, but if grocery stores can start selling marshmallow pumpkins in August, then I can do whatever the hell I want.  Selecting the right costume is a very delicate dance.  Finding a costume that both rules, and doesn’t cost a fortune is not always easy, so I am here to help you make good choices.

Obvious rules/tips include thrifting and borrowing as much as possible, and keep in mind that whatever you wear will be subject to destruction depending on your brand of Halloween party.  I would also like to formally remind all the ladies out there that congress has overturned the law that for years has forced you to dress like a slutty version of [fill in the blank] on All Hallows Eve.  My condolences to the girls behind me in line at the fabric store who just wanted to 'œbe a bee, but you know, a sexy bee.'

One of the more important factors to consider is the potential popularity of certain costumes.  All of you who dressed up like Sarah Palin two years ago know what I’m talking about.  Below is a list of costumes to avoid because of overuse, and general lameness. HAPPY HALLOWEEN (in a month)!!!

Generic generation
As appealing and easy as it would be to dress as a 60s/70s/80s girl/boy, that stopped being cute in middle school.  This idea is even more lame if said fashions are back in style.  Now you’re just wearing your own clothes and '˜funny’ makeup, which isn’t funny.  Just lame.

Jersey Shore
As much as I love the lil’ Guidette, the world isn’t ready for an army of orange, bump-ity, pseudo Snookis.  It will make her less special, and lord knows we can’t have that.

My eyes are already burning from the imagined image of hundreds of Avatards roaming the streets in ill-fitting blue spandex.  Just don’t.  Please.

Lady Gaga
See '˜Avatar’ above.

If you were thinking of dressing like a character from Twilight, even in jest, I think we’re done here.

Photos from:,,,

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Alison Lambert - Half Price Headliner

Alison Lambert - Half Price Headliner

Ali was born and raised in the Wholesome/Creepy capital of the world, Salt Lake City, UT. Once she was old enough to blow that pop stand she escaped to the place that was the anti-SLC: The Peoples Gay-public of Drugifornia aka San Francisco (holla 30 Rock!). You can now find her throughout this glorious city slurping Pho and scheming with her best friend Pinky doing what they do every night; try and take over the world.