Smellebrities

Sometimes you’ll look at a celebrity and know immediately what it’s like to hang out with them. Brad Pitt, for example, is clearly smug and pretentious, especially when he’s stoned. I imagine Al Pacino to be kind of jumpy and paranoid, Guy Fieri to be steeped in a rendered glaze of self-loathing, and Jessica Simpson to be a terrible driver and constantly snacking.

These are things we can glean merely from watching their movies or shows, and taking cursory glances at the tabloids. Some celebrities, however, have such outsize personas with clearly tangible animas, that it actually stimulates the olfactory senses.

So what do the famous folks of today smell like?  Let’s see!

Taylor Momsen: Marlboro Lights, Cheapo Bodywash, Hair Extension Glue

Katy Perry: Stale Pez, rubbing alcohol

Ben Stiller: Aftershave, toothpaste, self-doubt

Courtney Love: Melting plastic, Marlboro Reds, Lady Speed Stick

Keira Knightley: Unicorn tears, Splenda

Tyra Banks: “Angel” by Thierry Mugler, Ice Cream, Baby Powder, Weave Glue

Angelina Jolie: Leather, baby formula, the faint odor of an electrical fire

Jennifer Aniston: Green tea body wash, Zoloft, despair

Matthew McCounaghey: Hemp soap, Bengay, resin

Gwyenth Paltrow: The most expensive yoga studio ever built

Thanks to Mr Cotobato for his assistance with this important project.

Photo courtesy of drfunkenberry.com

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About the author

Ashley Friedman - Cornerstore Correspondent

Like most kids, Ashley grew up in New Jersey. Unlike most kids the Friedman's televison set acted as a third parent, imbuing young Ashley with the stern moral values of Claire Huxtable, the dramatic tendencies of Brenda Walsh and the earnest hopefulness of the blond kid on Silver Spoons. After graduating from Sarah Lawrence Ashley made her way to the Park Slope area of Brooklyn where she can currently be found reading foreign fashion magazines, scouring ebay for vintage heels, eating out in restaurants and otherwise stretching her meager income as far as it will go in NYC.
  • ghoola

    nice work
    but youre missing a key element
    avril lavine who ive long said is naturally the worst smelling celbrity in human history
    she smells like what happens when you use powder detergent but you smoke in your house so the smell of smoke gets in your detergent
    and dirty hair
    and the smell of plastic when its dirty and you clean it with an old rag

  • Boom Boom

    “The faint odor of an electrical fire” Hilarious Pokes