Remember this movie? Yeah, I don’t really either.
Spring’s a-comin’ in just a few short weeks, and you know what that means — WINTER WEATHER FOR SIX MORE MONTHS! Not really. Well, maybe really, but spring also signals the beginning of many adult sport leagues in the city (because usually it’s much, much too freezing in the first couple months of the year to be outside for more than a few minutes, much less play some hour-long game of skill). Even if you’re not athletic, adult leagues are a great way to get some exercise, pick up guys/gals, or meet some new drinking buddies. Behold, some of the more interesting leagues:
As their website claims, Brewskee-Ball is “the first-ever competitive skee-ball league.” To get in on this action, form a team of three, come up with a smart-ass team name (à la “Ain’t Nothin’ But a Skee Thang”) and e-mail firstname.lastname@example.org. Also, the “matches” take place at Buckshot, one of the bars-cum-hunting-lodges Heidi wrote about yesterday, so even if your team loses, you still win because they sell chicken-fried bacon!
Good For Adults Who: Spent excessive amounts of time at Chuck E. Cheese’s as children; are anti-running
Apparently this is the go-to SF kickball league, but I don’t know and I don’t care because for some reason, kickball does not interest me at all. But it definitely interests some people (read: ex-frat guys), so I’m including it on this list. There are a few different leagues, so visit the site to pick one that plays on a field close to your place. And be prepared to drink, like, a LOT of beer.
Good For Adults Who: Are classified as bros; enjoy blacking out on weeknights
TRAMPOLINE DODGEBALL LEAGUE
House of Air, the awesome indoor trampoline park, naturally has a trampoline dodgeball league. Yeah, I know! The games start this week and I know their Tuesday league is closed, but the Monday league may still have openings. If everything’s full, worry not — it’s only a six-week season, so you don’t have to wait that long for your turn to jump up and down while attempting to blast opponents in the crotch with a deceivingly firm rubber ball.
Good For Adults Who: Don’t bruise easily; had one of those huge trampolines in their backyards growing up
So Sports4Good offers “real” sports, and lots of ‘em. I play softball through this organization and it’s pretty chill, meaning yes, we drink at games, but we also want to crush the other team, so we’re not doing keg stands on the field or anything. There’s indoor and outdoor leagues to choose from as well as beginner through advanced levels. Oh, and if you suddenly decide to hate the opposite sex, you can join a non co-ed team…you sexist pig, you.
Good For Adults Who: Have competitive streaks; can jog for at least five minutes straight without getting winded
Btw, none of these leagues are FREE, which is a huge bummer, but the way my team defrays the costs is by coercing a local bar to sponsor us each season. If you do this, it can be relatively cheap to play. It’s when you get into silkscreening dumb names like “The Swamp Donkeys” onto brand-new baseball shirts where you run into trouble, so just refrain.