In the Rocky Horror sunglasses circa 2006ish
I just had to bid adieu to a favorite pair of aviators, which leaves me with only eight pairs of sunglasses. Unacceptable. Now that we’ve gotten that pesky rainy season out of the way, it’s damn bright outside and my poor eyes are woefully unprepared to meet the outside world without some sort of barrier to all that UV.
What better way to celebrate the end of months of overcast skies and sunset at 5pm than breaking out a slick set of shades? Yes, you’ll need to start by scoring some actual sunglasses somewhere (Goodwill, Salvation Army, your coffee table, lost and founds, gas stations…anything under $5 is a steal, anything over $15 is a rip off), but upgrading a set of specs is easy enough. Now, take these pointers and go forth to find the cheapest set of sunglasses you can, then make them super fly.
Paint: An excellent (and effortless) option, it’s ridic simple to just paint the frame. But! You could also use paint pens to draw something more intricate, or layer a few coats of glitter nail polish over your paint to add some glittery goodness a la Victoria Beckham’s version. And just think – yours didn’t cost 325 pounds.
Decorate: Not feeling like a painter? Glue some tissue paper to the arms and call it a day. Or, spray paint through lace or fishnet (you’ll have to tape over the lenses obv). Add strips of silver bits, like gum wrappers, found bits, or gold leaf (which you didn’t steal from your fine arts friends…). Hell, glue tiny dinosaur toys all over the damn things, there are no rules here.
Add Chain(s): Just lay down some glue then throw some chain over it and tape in place. Add multiple chains for a layered effect.
ABCs: Score some letter stickers, then layer the C’s over the lenses and you’re rockin’ the most broke-ass Chanel rip offs ever. Paint red As as a Scarlet Letter tribute. Show Giants pride by putting orange S and F over the lenses.
Beads: Glue gun meet beads. Beads meet glue gun. And history was made! Seriously tho, beads are a bit of a pain in the ass since you’re going to have to make sure each one is tightly glued down. Consider using larger beads to simplify your life, or big ol’ pearls like these fancy Sonia Rykiels.
Lace: Again, grab the glue gun. You’ll be stretching the lace across, so it helps if you can find a way to hold or pin the lace to the glasses while it dries, otherwise you’re gonna be stuck holding each piece in place.
Pop Star: A la Lady Gaga, Rhianna, or …sigh, Snooki, consider adding studs, pyramid studs, painted prisms, clear gems, pen caps, prisms. Remember everything adds weight and consider how you’ll actually, you know, see through them, or maybe just keep this one as a costume idea.