14 Great Ideas for Cheap Dates

Wanna kiss the bunny between the ears?
Wanna kiss the bunny between the ears?

We all pay for sex somehow.  Some of us with our time, some of us with our money, and most of us with our dignity.  Since I know you’re severely lacking money and dignity, here’s some fun cheap ways to hang out with that special someone that might help you get a little sumptin-sumptin.

Ice Cream or a Milkshake: Cheap, delicious and downright cute….as long as nobody is lactose intolerant. Then it just becomes cheap, delicious, and downright stinky.

A Picnic: Hit up the store and get some sandwich fixins or some nibbles so that you have something to soak up that cheap wine you’re bringing. Bring some weed too if that’s your thing, but don’t be surprised if the conversation goes quite. Pot just kinda does that.

Go for a Walk or Hike: No matter where you live, there’s gotta be somewhere that’s at least kinda scenic. Even if you live in Fresno.

Take a Tour of A Brewery or Winery: You might end up paying an entrance fee, but at least the establishment is supplying the booze.

Go on a Scavenger Hunt: I don’t know, I’m sure somebody does this kind of shit.

Make Fun of People: Go some place public like the mall and just make mean, snickering comments to each other about all the passersby, especially the morbidly obese people. It makes you feel awesome!

See a Game: Go on a discount day and get nosebleed seats. Sneak in a flask and some food so you don’t end up buying the amazing smelling garlic fries.

Bowling: Nothing says “sexy time” better than fat rednecks rolling heavy balls down an alley.

Land pirates, just like I said.

Land pirates, just like I said.

Go to the County Fair: No matter where you are, this happens every summer and it’s usually pretty cheap to get in, see some farm animals, ride a rickety rollercoaster, and eat some corn on the cob. Have you ever noticed how Carnies are pretty much land pirates? All kinds of eye patches and missing teeth and shit. If you haven’t noticed it before, you will next time.

Art Openings: Free wine and cheese bitches!!

Watch a Meteor Shower: These things happen multiple times a year. Find out when one is happening and drive out to some place where you can see the stars. You’ll get to discover how many falling stars you have to wish upon in order for you to get laid.

Rent a Movie from the Library: They are free plus you finally have an excuse to see Casablanca. I have a feeling the library’s selection isn’t too vast.

See a High School Football Game: Just get really wasted and see how much screaming and belittling it takes before you get 86′d.

The Farmer’s Market: Free samples make it so nobody needs to spend money.

Now is your turn.  Do you have any good ideas for cheap dates?  If so, share them below!

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About the author

Broke-Ass Stuart - Editor In Cheap

I've been called "an Underground legend": SF Chronicle , "an SF cult hero": SF Bay Guardian, and "the chief of cheap": Time Out New York, but to those familiar with my work, I'm just "that douchebag who writes books about cheap stuff and drinks a lot".

6 Comments

  1. Amy says:

    Actually, the library’s collection of DVD’s is surprisingly vast. Depending on where you live, you can find all sorts of films from documentaries to obscure films. My library even has a space on their website where you can ask them to order a title for you.

    Nothing like free entertainment to make your day.

  2. Actually, the library’s collection of DVD’s is surprisingly vast. Depending on where you live, you can find all sorts of films from documentaries to obscure films. My library even has a space on their website where you can ask them to order a title for you.

    Nothing like free entertainment to make your day.

  3. Golda says:

    I really liked your blog until you thought “making fun of morbidly obese people” was a fun date idea.  Just FYI, plenty of morbidly obese people are everywhere, acting very unmorbid, and go on lots of dates. 

    You’re truly an asshole.

  4. We make fun of everyone on this blog. Gays, Jews, Blacks, Asians, Rich people, Poor people, and everyone else. Today it just happened to be morbidly obese people and Carnies. Tomorrow it will probably be someone else. If this is the first time this blog has offended you, then you should read it more often.

  5. FU says:

    There is a difference between making fun of a group in a clever way that even the target will laugh at, and immature pointing & sniggering in a pathetic attempt to find value in your existence at the expense of people who probably have had a tougher road than you. The former is hard, as evidenced by my inability to make you laugh at your unjustified sense of superiority since you are probably smart enough to realize what an underachiever you are and thus are chronically depressed.

    Since “we make fun of everyone,” I thought it was time “to make fun of ” assholes like you.

    But I do like the blog.

  6. Myles says:

    I bet a fat chick wrote that… oh wait.

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