Despite yapping endlessly on this site about all the shit I don’t like on dates, there’s a bunch of things I’ve done that upon later reflection were uhhh probably not so great, ya know? I’ve noticed most of these bad moves, that either my friends or I have made, are typically accidental, involuntarily, but also sometimes just because we’re inconsiderate. Sometimes that just comes with the territory of being a fresh bitch.
1) Rolling your eyes
I actually got called out on this shit like YEARS after the date in question. I didn’t ever REMEMBER. It is, unfortunately, totally likely. I don’t remember being particularly outraged or “over it”, but I guess my ‘tude came sneaking out anyway. Though maybe once you get to know a person better, this can become gradually more acceptable, it’s probably a good idea to keep your eye-rolls in check– as much as is humanly possible, because I apparently don’t even notice when I’m doing it. Try to hold off until at least the second date. This automatically becomes invalid, though once something ACTUALLY eye-roll inducing is said– then you can EYEROLL YOUR LIFE AWAY TO THE POINT THAT YOUR DATE WILL THINK YOU HAVE EPILEPSY!
2) Accidentally getting drunk beforehand
So you know how people sometimes have a drink or two before a date to take the edge off? Don’t go out to happy hour with co-workers before a date and think that you’re going to be a normal human being afterward. This is especially hard in New York with half-day summer Fridays.
3) Oversharing/talking way too much -OR- being super quiet to the point where it seems like you’re too much of an aloof asshole
People deal with being nervous in different ways- some can’t stop talking about god knows what (me), whereas others clam up so much that any potential anxieties your date may have will probably become magnified by this whole non-responsive stuff you’re pulling. If you’re a talker, try and take a breather every 3-5 minutes or so. If you’re a clam-er, try asking your date questions about themselves. People rarely have any interest in anything other than themselves, so they’ll eat it up.
4) Confessing something major
You know those people who like have a stick up their ass about “I can say whatever I want, because I’m honest, maaaan”? Well, the thing with that is, you don’t live in a bubble. Even if you think confessing something might bring you and your date closer, or be a funny anecdote, or whatever the reason– it’s like, 90% of the time not a good idea. Why? Again, your date doesn’t know you very well, so if the confession is somewhat dicey, then that person is going to assume you’re maybe a serial killer, or just out of your mind, or something that’s probably not so good.
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