Every week we feature a different person from the community shedding a little light on their life of brokeitude. Who knows, maybe you’ll learn something about the human spirit — probably not.
Wanna be a Broke-Ass of the Week? Holler at us here and we’ll send you the questionnaire.
After being told her creative ideas were “too bizarre,” Renée quit advertising and decided that “creative” companies don’t know shit. Since then, she’s sold off her bizarre ideas and wackadoo copy to people who Get It. Renée is still looking for someone to pay her to be the “female Andy Rooney” even though everyone hates that guy. Maybe that’s the point. Onwards, Bonecrusher.
Name: Renée “Bonecrusher” Grelecki
Occupation: Writer / Unrecognized debutante / Hack
What neighborhood do you live in?: The Mission.
What are you listening to these days?: Edith Piaf. I’ve been fantasizing about a month-long trip to Paris and since I’m convinced French Contemporary is something I’d like to avoid, I’ll just stay here for a bit.
Best money saving tip: Drop out of graduate school. Life doesn’t give a shit about your Process. Or you.
What do you refuse to spend money on?: Porn. Does everyone say that? Because they should.
Most expensive thing you’ve ever bought: A duvet cover. I mark that purchase as The End of My Youth.
How’d that feel?: At the time: immortalizing. Now: flagrant.
Favorite cheap eat: I’m partial to eating dried tamarind pods as a snack. It’s gross and awkward and the small holes are most likely worms, but I just can’t help it.
Favorite dive bar: RJ’s Sports Bar in the TL. There’s cocaine residue on the bathroom towel dispenser, whiskey prices are based upon perceived income, and there seems to be a revolving door of rotund businessmen disappearing into the back room with the barely legal Thai bartenders, so…
Best deal you’ve ever gotten: Sliding scale therapy.
Favorite free thing to do: Pee.
If you woke up a millionaire, what’s the first thing you’d buy?: A doctor with a thick prescription pad and tepid ethics. Botox. A cabana boy. Five failed marriages with one secret lovechild [see: cabana boy]. A shaved cat; some Chanel scarves; a daily commute on my illegal elephant.
Despite not having money, do you still love your life?: 70/30
Do you own my book?: Do you own MY book?
Best hangover cure: Three Bloody Marys.
Are you a hipster?: I sure hope so.