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An Ode to the Chinese Bakery


My stomach is growling!
But alas,
That despite its howling
I am a Broke Ass

I am short on dough
What else is new?
I have to be fed

To the Chinese Bakery I must go!
Places like it there are few
It is much more than bread

Shall I have a bun?
Which type is the key
I could eat them by the ton
Roasted or dry pork, we shall see

Dry pork does sound suspicious
It looks like pig dandruff
On top of a squishy roll

I was wrong, it’s delicious!
It’s really great stuff
As satisfying as an Arsenal goal

Custard buns, scallion buns, can’t be beat
The coconut ones are my favorite
They are quite the treat
I always take the time to savor-it

My favorite part about the place
Is that it is so cheap
I can fill up for under a buck

I always stuff my face
With all the buns I can reap
Sometimes I can’t believe my luck

There’s always a weird dessert case
That’s one thing that is wrong
The desserts have a weird gelatinous base
I can’t eat them for very long

I never understood
How they mess this up
And why locals like strange sponges

In all these neighborhoods
On desserts I will not sup
I’d rather do difficult lunges

All is not lost
There is bubble tea
Still at very low cost
I’d rather it be free

It comes in so many flavors
It can be hard to choose
From milk tea, fruit, or taro

There are too many to savor
In that you cannot lose
So there is no sorrow

Back in Sunset Park
There was a bakery I enjoyed
On my heart it made a mark
When I was not employed

In the coffee there were bubbles!
When I found this I was so happy
It was like living in a movie

The drinks melted away my troubles
None of them were crappy
Especially the watermelon bubble smoothie

I urge you to check one out
I know you will not regret it
This is one thing I do not doubt
Chinese bakeries are a hit

Check one out in a ‘hood
Where there are many Chinese
In Manhattan, Brooklyn or in Queens

You totally know you should
They are the bees knees
These bakeries are obscene(ly good)

Photo Credit: Savor the World

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May S. - Couch-Change Spelunker

May S. - Couch-Change Spelunker

Bachelorette number one...err...May is a spunky twenty-something resident of New York City. When she is not swinging Tarzan-like through the concrete jungle that dreams are made on she does stand up comedy, travels, watches footy, prowls the public library, and snobbishly drinks as many craft beers as possible (on her budget that is). She has a degree in fashion, but is not currently involved in the industry. In the meantime she writes for funsies.