How About We…Do Something Cheap?

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A wise man once said, “Mo’ money, mo’ problems.” However, if you’re reading this, it may pain you slightly to not be in 100% agreement. Don’t sweat it. Snap out of that funk, little chipmunk! You can still live like a (semi) normal person, just use these handy alternatives to do it for way cheap (or even free):

YOU WANT: To go to a museum.

SOLUTION: Since your relic-loving ass doesn’t have a job, it shouldn’t be too hard to wait until Friday afternoons to check out the MoMA (FREE from 4-8 pm). Also recommended: Brooklyn Museum First Saturdays (that is, if you can stand all the kids). Click here for a list of FREE museums by day.

YOU WANT: A snack

SOLUTION: Whole Foods, or similar grocery stores. Take it from this ex-store demonstrator – Whole Foods schedules their food and drink demos in 3-4 hour shifts, commonly starting from 10 am on the hour up until 8 pm.

YOU WANT: To see some live music!

SOLUTION: You’re in luck if you are in NYC this week because it’s CMJ week! Pretty much every venue in the city is opening its doors to musical acts every day, and a lot of these events are FREE. And even better, some of these FREE events offer FREE booze on top of the FREE music. Oh happy day! This link is a pretty comprehensive roundup of all the FREE parties and events going on for CMJ this week.

YOU WANT: To get away for the weekend.

SOLUTION: Bolt Bus, Megabus, Chinatown bus. I was once on one of these bus lines (no telling which one!) when we suddenly pulled over onto the side of the highway and were told that because of “technical problems,” another bus would be coming to pick us up shortly. Hey, no one said you’d be riding in style, but at least they get you where you want to go (kind of).

YOU WANT: A place to relax after narrowly escaping the harrowing Megabus ride within inches of your life (dang, I told).

SOLUTION: The best solution here would be to have a friend in the city to which you hopped that cheap ride in the first place, but barring any friends with clean floors/couches for you to sleep on, hostels.com may be your best bet. I once stayed in a “hostel” in Orlando that was basically a motel – key card, private bathroom, and everything. And it was like, twenty bucks a night!

YOU WANT: To get that cutie you’ve been eying across the bar back to your private, key-carded hostel room to make sweet, sweet whoopie.

SOLUTION: Besides having game smooth enough to bag your prospect? Hello, NYC condoms! They’re all over the place and no one cares if you take just one or one whole HANDFUL. They’ll just be glad you’re not multiplying like a Duggar.

Photo Credit: Dinner Tool

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About the author

Patricia Scull - Patty the Pauper

Patty loves cats, cheese, and irony, so although she is currently a petite Asian chick, she is well on her way to becoming a fat, smelly, cat lady later in life. Born in Korea and adopted to white people in the South, Patty spent her youth frolicking happily in the cornfields of eastern North Carolina. She currently lives in the East Village and can be found boozing her way through the bars (and streets) of New York.