Top Clothing Trends for Broke-Asses

Everyone’s heard the expression “starving artist” before, right? Throughout time, there has always been a subset of the population who fits this description and today, my friends, many of us are the ones filling those ratty, tattered shoes. Whether it’s because all of our disposable income goes toward bettering our crafts, or because we actually majored in Basket Weaving at Liberal Arts U – the Beats, the kids from Jonathan Larson’s Rent, think of all the good company we’re in! One thing about being a “starving artist” is that the broke-asses of society often dictate or at least influence the cultural trends of the mainstream. So, let’s make this work to our advantage! To start, here are some seriously broke-ass past-trends that we can revive to work in our wallets’ favor:

Newsboy caps. Or the whole newsboy look. Seriously, has anyone seen Newsies?!

Newsboy-Caps-Broke-Ass-Stuart

Shoulder pads. Easily found in thrift stores, and your mom’s closet.

Shoulder-Pads-Broke-Ass-Stuart

Hammer pants. Four words: SO EASY TO MAKE. If these suckers were back in style, all you’d need is an old bedsheet and some safety pins to be on the cutting edge.

MC-Hammer-Hammer-Pants-Broke-Ass-Stuart

Bowl haircuts. It’s not called the “bowl” haircut for nothing! To achieve “style”: 1) find acceptable bowl, 2) place bowl on head, 3) cut hair

Three-Stooges-Moe-Broke-Ass-Stuart

Runners up:

Acid washed pants: low maintenance, can be worn and washed THOUSANDS of times without showing any sign of wear and tear whatsoever

For men, pants that are at least 3 sizes too big: makes shopping trips less size-specific and more economical!

Hawaiian shirts: cognitive therapy. Just keep telling yourself it’s summer when you’re stranded in the half sleet/half poop-snow, waiting for the bus in NYC on a 20 degree night. Jus’ sayin.

Photo credit: whysoblu.com, the50zone.com, losasso.com, agentlover.com

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About the author

Patricia Scull - Patty the Pauper

Patty loves cats, cheese, and irony, so although she is currently a petite Asian chick, she is well on her way to becoming a fat, smelly, cat lady later in life. Born in Korea and adopted to white people in the South, Patty spent her youth frolicking happily in the cornfields of eastern North Carolina. She currently lives in the East Village and can be found boozing her way through the bars (and streets) of New York.