Every week we feature a different person from the community shedding a little light on their life of brokeitude. Who knows, maybe you’ll learn something about the human spirit — probably not.
Wanna be a Broke-Ass of the Week? Holler at us here and we’ll send you the questionnaire.
Dave Hill is a funny man. You’ve probably seen him on HBO, Cinemax, MTV, MOJO or one of the other billion networks he’s been on. Or you may have read his work in such rags as New York Times, GQ, Salon, VICE, McSweeney’s. Personally, I haven’t seen or read any of his stuff but I hear he’s funny. All the homeless guys at the 16th and Mission BART Station all seem to love his stuff. At least Dave knows his demographic.
Anyways, I’m excited to have such a venereal, er…I mean venerable, and multitalented performer as Broke-Ass of the Week. Even more so since this is such a big week for Dave. On September 3rd Dave’s book Tasteful Nudes…and Other Misguided Attempts at Personal Growth and Validation came out in paperback. Also, on the same day Dave Hill and his band Valley Lodge had a new album come out called Use Your Weapons. It’s available on iTunes. If you like funny stuff, you should read Dave’s answers to our harrowing questions below. You should also follow him on twitter.
Name: Dave Hill
Age: Really, really old, even older than I ever expected I’d be. It sickens me. My doctor tried to put his finger in my butt the other day. I swear he has no boundaries.
Occupation: Comedian, writer, musician guy.
What neighborhood do you live in?: West Village of Manhattan, Home of the Stars. And also me.
Best money saving tip: I find the best way for me to save money is to not do the two things that make life more tolerable, drink and take cabs everywhere. And, if you’re anything like me, one leads to the other. That said, I have yet to quit either. Also, don’t forget to take advantage of those big sales all the stores have twice a year. I never pay more than 50% for any of the adorable outfits I wear. I bet Suze Ormand would tell you to not buy the adorable outfits at all but have you seen that lady’s hair? Someone needs to have “the talk” with her.
What do you refuse to spend money on?: Cosmetic procedures. I am strictly DIY with that stuff.
Most expensive thing you’ve ever bought: I bought a guitar that was worth $4500 but I only paid around $2700. I got the shredder’s discount.
How’d that feel?: As with most guitars I’ve ever bought, I had pretty bad buyer’s remorse and wanted to return it for a few days, but now I’m pretty psyched I have it. My apartment building recently caught on fire and it was one of the only things I was sure to rescue from the place. I felt like B.B. King or something.
Favorite cheap eat: There’s a Puerto Rican place by my apartment called La Taza de Oro that I go to a lot. It rules. And if you spend more than ten bucks on a meal there I swear you have an eating disorder.
Favorite dive bar: The best dive bar in the world is Nemeth’s in Painesville, Ohio. Hands down. As for NYC, real dive bars are a dying breed, but I still like Jimmy’s Corner when I’m in Midtown, which is rare. And whatever bar Tracy Westmoreland, former owner of the greatest dive bar of all-time, Siberia, is running these days is usually pretty great. It changes from week to week though. I usually have to call him to find out where to go each time.
Best deal you’ve ever gotten: I bought a brand new purple seersucker suit in St. Paul, Minnesota for $200 recently. That’s dangerously cheap for a new suit. Especially a purple one. It’s pretty much paid for itself already.
Favorite free thing to do: I’ll avoid the honest answer and tell you I love to walk along the Hudson at sunset with someone I love.
If you woke up a millionaire, what’s the first thing you’d buy?: Probably breakfast. Beyond that though, I’m not sure. I don’t really buy much of anything but guitars and suits, which I guess are kind of expensive generally speaking. I’d probably get more of those. As best I can tell, you can never have enough. They are both works of art to me. I love playing the guitar. And I hate the way I look in most of my clothes, but I can appreciate that they would look really great on someone else, so I keep buying them.
Despite not having money, do you still love your life?: I’m not broke anymore, but I certainly remember what it’s like to be broke as I spent most of my adult life that way. It’s nice to not be too stressed about how the bills are going to get paid every month, but beyond that I’ve found that life isn’t all that different no matter how much or little money I have. It’s a cliche, but the only thing that really matters is hanging out with friends and family, stuffing your face, and hoping not too many people notice when you sneak out a fart every once in a while. What can I say? I’m a simple, simple man.
Do you own my book?: Do you own mine?
Best hangover cure: My cousin told me he has a friend whose wife is a nurse and hooks him up to an IV and an oxygen mask after a rough night out. I don’t have access to that stuff, so I usually just try to drink a lot of water and then go for a run. Running is absolutely awful, but I find it fixes many of life’s problems.
Are you a hipster?: God, I hope not. To me, being a hipster involves adopting the qualities of whatever is hip and popular at any given time. I pretty much live in my own little world most of the time, so I’d like to think I’m just me. Except for the hair, that is. I take a stack of magazines with me to the salon each time in hopes of nailing the latest scorching hot look.