San Francisco Law Firm Offers Free Workshops on Evicting Tenants

This guest post is written by Melissa Bosworth.

When I was 8 years old, my best friend was a poor businessman who let me start every Monopoly game with the entire stack of five-hundreds in my bank. The experience taught me a valuable lesson about success:

hundreds-of-dollars

 It helps to start with a stack of these.

Winning by cheating totally doesn’t get boring.

That was the pinnacle of my career as a capitalist.

These days, I’ve abandoned Park Place for a crowded, rent-controlled apartment. My greedy, hand-wringing landlord occasionally shows up to remind me that other tenants in my neighborhood pay five hundred gazillion dollars a month and I’m basically stealing from him by living here. To my untrained ear, his enthusiastic use of the buzzer sounds a lot like an emergency evacuation alert system. My gut instinct tells me to bolt for the back door in my pajamas. It’s all pretty awkward.

rent_check

Just my November rent check, no big deal

Last week, my broke-ass housemate and and I went to a workshop geared toward those on the other side of the housing war. You know, the ones starting the game with a big stack of money. We went in hopes of learning how my asshole landlord thinks. OK fine, we were also motivated by the chance to win a free tchotchke in the door-prize raffle.

The event was put on by a law firm called Bornstein & Bornstein and sponsored by the Bay Property Group. It was called: San Francisco Rent Control – Boot Camp. Daniel Bornstein, Esq., a Bay Area real-estate attorney who, to my delight, described himself as “agnostic as to the character of the people who are involved,” put on a pretty good show.

landlord-meeting

What the other (significantly less than) half does for fun

If you’re wondering, we didn’t win an American Express gift card or a corporate-branded baseball cap, but we did get to stuff our faces with free cookies that made us sorta nauseous. I don’t even like cookies. I just did it to feel like I was stealing something.

Anyway, after the feeding we were treated to a 90-minute PowerPoint presentation that was actually pretty damned informative, in addition to being an illuminating glimpse into the seedy underbelly of the landlord community.

There’s another workshop coming up in January (linked below), but for those who don’t want to spend an evening trekking up to Fort Mason for free cookies, a peek at the folks who want to squeeze you out of this fine city, and a few harrowing moments of righteous outrage, here are some of the things I learned.

Let’s start with some background on the San Francisco Rent Ordinance:

San Francisco has rules to protect tenants living in buildings that were originally occupied before 1979. If you live in a place built after that, you probably know it because you pay $50,000 a month in rent and you take an elevator 30 floors to your apartment.

Housing that is covered by the Rent Ordinance falls into one of two categories: single-family homes or condos, and multi-unit dwellings. In both cases, tenants can’t be evicted without just cause, but generally only multi-unit dwellings are subject to rent control. An in-law unit effectively turns a single-family home into a multi-unit dwelling, but if it is illegal (as many are) kicking out the tenants and demolishing it qualifies as just cause for eviction.

skyscraper

If your building looks like this, you probably don’t have rent control

And now, for the evil schemes:

(By the way, Bornstein has a rather telling habit of referring to tenants as “a problem.”)

Evil Scheme 1: How to throw somebody’s grandma out on the street and feel really good about it.

If you buy a two-unit place that comes infested with a pesky old person in the main house and a couple living in an illegal in-law unit in the back, there’s a quick fix to eradicate the problem.

First, you demo the in-law unit according to just-cause regulations under the Rent Ordinance. Then all you have to do is remodel the place into a lovely single-family home, which won’t be subject to rent control, the whole time letting Grandma think that you’re spiffying it up just for her. As soon as the renovations are done you can jack up the rent to market rates and Grandma, unable to afford the doubled or tripled rent cost, will move to the ghetto, or the streets or wherever – who cares?

Problem: Solved.

old_lady

Don’t worry Grandma, you’ll find a new place

Evil Scheme 2: How to manipulate and screw over tenants living in a “boarding house”

This is a twist on Evil Scheme 1. The property is a building with seven tenants in separate rooms. That makes it a multi-unit building, which means it is subject to rent control, but it is originally zoned as a single-family home.

The first move is to talk the tenants into signing a single lease, on the grounds that the house isn’t zoned for multi-unit occupancy. A few months later, you can close in for the final blow.

Bornstein tells the story as he’d like to see it: “I’ve of course taken off the numbers on each of those bedrooms. I’ve unlocked those rooms because you can’t lock these things up, and what do I have? I have seven people in a single-family home, and their tenancy commenced when? After 1996. What can I do after that? Raise the rent to market rate. It’s not easy, but if you can buy that property for a quarter million dollars less than what it’s worth vacant, you may have enough room to negotiate with the tenants to cooperate, and what I like to do is use money to make money.”

Problem: Solved.

dorm-beds

I’ve got it! You guys can turn this place into a happy household so I can get rid of you!

Evil Scheme 3: How to write a lease that makes it easy to kick out your tenants

It pays to set yourself up for the greatest possible likelihood of being able to evict your tenants for breaching the terms of the lease, once they no longer serve your financial interests. Bornstein & Bornstein can offer you the resources to have the most up-to-date lease possible.

Make sure you include strict language around modifications to the building. That way, if your tenants have made a change that breaks the lease, you can move to evict if they can’t get rid of it fast. Also, stipulate that tenants can’t have pets, even if you don’t care whether they have pets, because then if they do have pets you might be able to kick them out for having pets and lying about it.

Problem: Solved.

dog-digging

Quick, Spot, go hide in the yard!

Bornstein closed the presentation with a nugget of advice for investors: San Francisco is tricky and expensive. Check out opportunities in the East Bay.

Are you picturing what I’m picturing? Let me verify: Bornstein & Bornstein are sitting in a smoky room sipping fine wine from golden goblets, grinning with dark pleasure. “You’ve done a fine job, Mr. Bornstein,” says Bornstein to Bornstein, pausing to light his cigar. “San Francisco is fully gentrified.”

“It is, Mr. Bornstein. Our plan is complete. Next, we take the East Bay.”

Oakland, lock your doors.

Note: If you, like me, enjoy being bored and pissed off at the same time, you can see the PowerPoint slides of the presentation here.

You can also sign up here for the next workshop, taking place January 16th, 2014. Just go easy on the free cookies. You’ve been warned.

About the author: Melissa Bosworth is a freelance journalist, which by definition means she lives on the margins. When she’s not writing informative articles about sustainable energy or self-indulgent blog posts about her bohemianism, she spends an inordinate amount of time reverse-engineering recipes from restaurants she can’t afford and giving herself experimental haircuts, but ideally not at the same time because that plan’s guaranteed to end badly. She also enjoys hanging around the park at night, being outraged about consumer culture, and telling herself that wearing the same outfit all the time makes her a superhero, not a slob. She doesn’t love her cats.

photos from the author and pixbay.

Share This Page

About the author

Broke-Ass Stuart - Editor In Cheap

I've been called "an Underground legend": SF Chronicle , "an SF cult hero": SF Bay Guardian, and "the chief of cheap": Time Out New York, but to those familiar with my work, I'm just "that douchebag who writes books about cheap stuff and drinks a lot".
  • Jim Chi

    I was there and I sat through the whole thing. It was very interesting. Thank you for the great summation of how he “transitions” tenants. I actually felt compelled, even obligated to help myself to the raffle prizes without participating in the raffle. The hat is nicely emblazoned with a patch that reads “trouble maker.” We have seen the face of pure evil.

  • Raul

    Disgusting.

  • bhagavan s buritz

    What is not mentioned is the Landlord who worked and scrimped and saved and maintained the building him or herself. Starting with nothing he bought a small building for retirement income, but low and behold the building is worth two or three million and he is barely breaking even and he is too old to climb those ladders and get under those sinks. He sells it to an investor who Ellises the building, evicts all the tenants, renovates the building and sells individual apartment. The Landlord can passively invest his money for a good income and can retire in peace.

  • Meredith

    Actually I attended this workshop as a tenant, and my landlord may sell our building. We wanted to learn about our rights if the sale occurs. I actually thought Daniel was clear, unbiased and had a lot of good points to share. Although I can not control the sale of our SF building, we are now more educated about our rights and the laws in place. Education and legal facts have no real bias, just ignorant people do.

  • Pingback: Get Off Your Shuttles! | iammichellekim

  • Zack Freeman

    Very interesting! As a tenant living in the Lake Merritt area of Oakland, I’d say your warning is a bit late. The virus has been spreading for about 5 years now…

  • Pingback: Eviction Defense Collaborative Looks to Hackers for Help | Re/code

  • Pingback: Eviction Defense Collaborative Looks to Hackers for Help | TechNewsDB

  • Pingback: Eviction Defense Collaborative Looks to Hackers for Help | endlessness

  • Pingback: SF Law Firm Giving Landlords Free Workshops on How to Evict Tenants | Mary Polizzotti