Celebrity Lookalikes on SF MUNI
X anax Muni twice a day – to and from facebooking and gchatting all day in my cube work. I do a lot of people watching on Muni in between bouts of refreshing my Instagram feed, swaying to Toad the Wet Sprocket Pandora, hammer-texting my ex and sifting through my split ends. This is, after all, San Francisco – home to some of the best people watching this side of the Mississippi. Oftentimes I’ll notice an uncanny resemblance between a fellow Muni rider and a celebrity which prompts me to document said revelation.
How do I snap photos without being caught you ask? I’ll tell you: the trick to successfully taking a photo of an unassuming member of the American public is to avoid holding your phone directly toward your subject whilst simultaneously ensuring he or she is still in your peripheral vision. You can always crop the photo if you don’t get a centered shot of your muni-celeb lookalike. Proceed to stare at your phone intently, as if you’re completely engrossed in a steamy sext you’ve received from your significant other. ALWAYS make sure the flash is off and your phone is on silent so it doesn’t make a clicking noise when you snap your photo. I learned this lesson the hard way when a Tonya Harding look-alike caught me mid-snap and I had to promptly deboard so as to avoid becoming Nancy Kerrigan part 2.
Have a look at this compilation of Celeb Muni Lookalikes (apologies for some of the grainy pictures: I took some of them from afar).
SHOSHANNA FROM HBO’S GIRLS
Our Beloved MICHAEL JACKSON lookalike
Silent Bob (Dir Kevin Smith)
Now, you’ve really gotta dissect this one for a minute. At first glance you may not see an obvious resemblance. But look closely and you’ll notice that they’ve got the exact same nose shape, chiseled chin, and pronounced cheekbones.
A hybrid of Kathy Griffin and Steve Carell (I snapped this pedestrian from Muni so it counts)
In addition to spotting celeb lookalikes on Muni I will also venture to guess what’s going on in the lives of my fellow passengers. Here are some examples:
Jack & Diane: THE FINICKY COUPLE
This couple seemed to be quarrelling. Possible dialogue:
Jack: C’mon, honey. Can I please get a blow job tonight?! It’s been like 6 months.
Diane: Listen, Jack. And listen good! I will not perform fellatio on you until you take me to see that rendition of A Midsummer Night’s Dream like you promised. Now that’s final!
Inside Rhonda’s bewildered mind: “I’ve got a spending problem. Did I really need that wooden spork from Bed, Bath & Beyond? Or those ass-less chaps from Bloomies? Or those My Little Pony sheets? Dag Nabbit.”
The Peter Pan Shacker
I snapped this at 8am the day after Halloween last year.
(Not) Dehydrated Denise
Inner monologue: Why is this bus moving so fucking slowly? I have to pee.
Last but certainly not least, I’d like to feature the hottest Muni trends as of late.
Stitching photos of your frisky felines on your jacket is all the rage on Muni right now.
This woman’s outfit reminded me of some lettuce bagels I spotted yesterday. Yes – lettuce bagels. What the fuck else would you call these?
And, that’s all I’ve got.
Happy Tuesday, people!