The Odd Origins of the Easter Bunny
Growing up in the bible belt I remember being told by church going folk that the Easter Bunny was in fact a pagan artifact that you would go to hell for worshiping. I ate his Cadbury eggs anyway, and asked Jesus for forgiveness afterwards.
So, where does that damn Easter Bunny come from?
According to the British over at The Guardian, “Easter was originally a pagan festival dedicated to Eostre, the Anglo-Saxon goddess of spring, whose consort was a hare, the forerunner of our Easter bunny…” Which makes perfect sense because she was the goddess of fertility, and bunnies, well…
Of course Time Magazine claims, “The Easter bunny first arrived in America in the 1700s with German immigrants who settled in Pennsylvania and transported their tradition of an egg-laying hare called “Osterhase” or “Oschter Haws.”
But according to actual Germans the tradition originally contained a fox, “It was mainly the Easter Fox who was responsible for the eggs in the Easter tradition…” The fox in German was known as Osterfuchs or ‘Easter Fox’. You can just imagine the German immigrants in the US, explaining to American children in a thick German accent that a predator named ‘Oster-fucks’ hid candy in the house. American parents probably looked at one another grimacing and told their kids that the nice German lady meant to say, ‘the Easter ‘Bunny’…(and not ‘Oster-fuck’) put out candy for them.
Neither mammal actually lays eggs, so what’s the harm? And now for your amusement, some people who ruined Easter for their children, and maybe the whole neighborhood:
Even Dolly Parton can’t brighten up this photo
No matter what you think about the origin of that damn Easter Bunny, I think he’s pretty cool. Especially when he shows up made of chocolate. People take holidays way too serious. Holidays are meant to be fun. Especially Easter. It’s getting warm, the sun is out longer, there’s an egg hunt, Cadbury has finally released the most delicious eggs on earth in America, and there are Peeps.
Happy Easter, you Broke-Ass Beautiful Bitches!