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7 Easy Ways To Sneak Booze Into Stadiums and Music Festivals

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Editor’s note: This was originally written about stadiums but 100% of it applies to music festivals too.

I went to West Virginia University when it was consecutively ranked the #1 Party School in The Nation by The Princeton Review. By the time I was a junior, and had mastered the age old tradition of sneaking booze into stadiums, the Princeton Review discontinued ranking us. They actually printed an addendum stating “West Virginia University is no longer ranked with other party schools as they have now become professionals”.

WVUFoxTailgateOfTheGame

So from one professional drinker to another, here’s the best way to get booze into any football, basketball, baseball or women’s soccer game when you just aren’t done tailgating.

Tape It Up

Tape some booze in inconspicuous places under baggy clothes. There’s no need to get “animal print pants outta control”…

Courtesy of Daily Mail UK

Courtesy of Daily Mail UK

This works best in winter months when you can roll with a tank top, tshirt, hoodie and coat. No one is gonna feel in-between your boobs. So, get one of the girls to take your booze in. Just be sure to make her a drink for all the effort. Or that she’s trustworthy enough to give you your captain before she hits the bathroom with a super-size coke.

Water Bottle It 

For the one who’s afraid to truly get caught, have no fear. Simply get yourself a full water bottle, super glue, electrical tape, and a knife. Carefully pull the water label apart at the seam and remove it. Poke a hole in the bottle where the label goes. Pour out the water. Pour in clear liquor like vodka, rum or vodka. Tape the hole. Super glue the label back, and roll into the game like a bad-ass.

SoNaughty

The Pass Over

The age old game of passing it over or under a fence is a timeless classic. This will only work if you find a secure area where no security guards can see you. You will also need your sneakiest, most deceitful friend who can quickly blend into the crowd and meet up with you later.

DwightShrute

 

Just Give It To The Ladies

TheGirls

The ladies really are the best people to smuggle in booze. Those security guards are too busy checking people’s pockets for pot and pants for booze, so you could set up a decoy. A guy goes in with a bottle to be found and just say “Oh, darn. You caught me.” So the guard doesn’t suspect the hairbrush…Get one here.

Courtesy of Amazon

Courtesy of Amazon. Get yours here.

Umbrella…

 

Courtesy of Amazon

Courtesy of Amazo. Get yours here!

 

Or Tampon in your girl’s bag or purse!

FlaskTampons

Get yours here!

Fill Up Your Fippy Floppies

For the guys who aren’t rolling to the game with any girls, there are flip flop flasks. Yep. Self-explanatory and fucking awesome.

Reef-Dram-Sandal

 

Just remember with smuggling alcohol comes great responsibility. Nine times out of ten you’ll end up right back at your tailgate around the third quarter, because if you’re white girl wasted you’ll have more fun doing stuff like this in the parking lot than being arrested in the stadium for throwing shit onto the field.

BoozeCruise

 

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Sassy Lil' Biscuit moonlighting as an underwater basket weaver. What? It's a valid profession.