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Pisa Sends Cease & Desist Order to San Francisco’s ‘Leaning’ Millenium Tower

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San Francisco’s most expensive apartment building is sinking into the landfill it was built on (approximately 16 inches on one side).  The Italian city of Pisa is threatening a cease and desist order against the building’s continual lean, afraid that already tourist rich San Francisco is now trying to steal “their thing“.

The spokesman for the city of Pisa (an absurd Italian caricature we just made up, named …’Luigi’) had this to say to the Millennium tower’s marketers.  “Abbondanza! Millenials tower, you bedda sober up-ah, you a leaning too much-ah, and that our thing-ah.”

The Millennium Tower, which sells 1 bedroom apartments for a reported $3.8 Million asking price, has sunk 16 inches since 2008, according to the SF Chronicle’s Matier & Ross. The building’s designers apparently did not spend the money to sink supports into the bedrock but instead went with sinking the piles into dense sand instead.

The Millenium is now getting sued by it’s millionaire and billionaire tenants and has begun attempting to shift the blame onto city contractors, claiming that the neighboring and massive Transbay construction project has caused their building to sink.  It is shaping up to be a very expensive and litigious mess, with the building’s developers trying to get the city to bail out their poorly envisioned building, while the 1 percenter tenants attempt to sue the building for selling them leaning apartments.

The Italian portion of this article was of course made up, but all the other information about the Millennium tower is true and linked to sources. 

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