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5 Things You Can Do with Your Feminine Rage

Art by Tatyana Fazlalizadeh

Art by Tatyana Fazlalizadeh

Do you often wake up each morning quivering with Feminine Rage?

I know I do.

For all you women, men, neithers, in-betweens, children, teens and furries who find yourself feeling Feminine Rage to a degree that you have to make it a proper noun, there is hope.

1. Let Your Feminine Rage Burn into an Unholy Maelstrom of Pure Fury

Feelin’ hot hot hot anger? Use it to toast the fleshy undersides of whatever bottomfeeder dared to tell you that you’re “overreacting” or “too sensitive” in any situation where they are not taking you seriously enough. Street harassment doesn’t correlate to sexual assault? Burn them. Women don’t get paid less because of patriarchy but because of skill? Burn them. You can only be a woman if you were born with female genitals? Toast a marshmallow over their ashes.

Image courtesy of BuzzFeed

Image courtesy of BuzzFeed

2. Use Your Feminine Rage as a New Spice

A salty woman is a woman with flavor. A salty man can be as well though I think you may have to become a sea captain. Plenty of life is boring and dull, and so much of society would like to keep you small and quiet, which means it should be a daily joy to spice shit up. If you feel like getting freaky, putting on a short skirt, getting drunk at a karaoke bar to belt out some Gaga, being stone cold sober at a karaoke bar to belt out some Gaga…make it salty. Trust me, if you dig deep enough, you will find plenty to be salty about.

Courtesy of MentalFloss

Courtesy of MentalFloss

3. Drive Your Politics or Morals with Your Feminine Rage

Whether you are political, non-political, just a person who wants to do good things and volunteers at a homeless shelter every week, there’s a good chance your Feminine Rage has swelled up lately. Mine certainly has and I don’t even like politics. Use your Feminine Rage for good: throw yourself into your principles like a watermelon in a vat of yogurt. Are you picturing it? Does it seem kind of soothing? This analogy got away from me, but whatever you’re doing, do it wholeheartedly. Tell your friends to volunteer with you. Plan an after-voting party. Tell that asshole you’re friends with on Facebook who keeps talking about Trump in a not totally negative way to go fuck themselves.

Courtesy of the Indian Express

Courtesy of the Indian Express

4. Combine Feminine Rages for Feminine Ultra-Rage

Chances are that you have at least one friend with visible Feminine Rage. Share your Feminine Rage and see whose Feminine Rage comes out of the woodwork. The beautiful thing about Feminine Rage is how many forms it can take: Quiet Feminine Rage, Artistic Feminine Rage, Black Feminine Rage, which is honestly the best kind because an Angry Black Woman shouldn’t be a negative thing. An Angry Black Woman filled with Feminine Rage is the hero we need and the hero we want. Team up with your Feminine Rage allies. You will love the results.

Photo by Dan Wynn

Photo by Dan Wynn

5. Love Yourself with Feminine Rage

At the end of the day, Feminine Rage is about respecting yourself. You are infuriated not only for the people around you, you are angry on your own behalf. Are you a man who wanted to play with dolls as a kid but wasn’t allowed? Are you a woman who feels breadshame because you want to eat the yeast roll at dinner but your gluten-free-by-choice BFF is watching? Are you waiting to hear about a raise you already know you won’t get because fucking Chad just went out for cigars with your boss last night? Lean in, people. That Feminine Rage is heavy and it’s ok to lean in. Make yourself a fancy dinner because you love yourself. Take a Lyft to work because you love yourself. Buy your mom a present because you love yourself because she loved your self.

Courtesy of BuzzFeed

Courtesy of BuzzFeed

The next time someone tries to make you do something you don’t want to do, take your Feminine Rage in hand and tell them to lean back before they get hit with the weight of all these fucks you don’t give. Stay nasty.


If you’re proud of being a Nasty Woman, then grab this shirt. Not only will you look splendid in it, you’ll also be helping BAS continue to afford publishing articles like this.

nasty woman

 

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Candace Cui - Actual Unicorn

Candace Cui - Actual Unicorn

At age 2, I was getting run over by a bike in an alley in China. At age 8, I was avoiding man-o-wars on Tybee Island. At age 14, I was overdrinking sweet tea while running through the woods barefoot. At age 20, I was learning Art History and how to drop it low. At age 25, I was making fun of drum circles at Dolores. At every age, I am charming the fuck out of you. Just wait, it'll happen.