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The Best Underground BDSM Parties in NYC

So you want to go to BDSM parties in NYC? Understandable. They’re pretty rad. Here’s a run down of some of the city’s finest and what you can expect when you show your kinky ass up.

Twister

Pangea

Pangea is BYOB and doesn’t do that thing where cost is affixed to what genitalia you have. The party is aimed at letting BDSM people try swinging and vice versa (the moniker they’ve coined is “swinky”). Blended BDSM and play (ie sex stuff) areas let you mess around with equipment like confinement cages, St. Andrews crosses, spanking benches, and suspension racks (with expert riggers who will hang you from them)–and then mess around with the people around you. There’s also an all naked lounge/play space, a friendly foot fetish corner, and an ongoing game of naked Twister, if that’s your thing.

Cake
Cakehole

Unpretentious, very Queer-friendly, and generally woke as fuck when it comes to consent, Cakehole brings a sort of DIY-ishness/non-hierarchical vibe to the scene. Pretty much anything goes there besides consent violation, barebacking, getting excess fluids on things, or generally being an asshole. Dungeon Monitors make sure people aren’t acting a fool, and it does take place in an actual dungeon, so there’s lots of equipment and toys around (though definitely BYO, when it comes to toys and booze alike.) Also, there is sometimes cake.

Hacienda

The Hacienda

The Hacienda Villa is what happens when a hedge fund manager decides to live his truth, buys a building in Bushwick, and fills it with polyamorous kinksters. While that might sound suspect and/or a recipe for the insufferable, the space (which is the actual home to a number of polyamorous and sex-positive “Villans”) is actually really inclusive and down to earth. In addition to sex positive classes and lectures, the Hacienda also hosts a wide range of play parties with specific BDSM and non-BDSM focuses (for instance, an upcoming Kinky Tasting will feature an assemblage of tops offering various sensation experiences, from rope to whipping to spanking to wax, that you can walk through and sample like a kinky buffet.)

Happy Kinksters

Kinky Riot

Kinky Riot is relatively new, and is geared toward the fetish elements of BDSM and kink–though they welcome both newbies and vets. If you’re trying to get specific with your freakiness, they are definitely accommodating–the party is housed at Pendulum, one of the best-equipped dungeons in the city. There are medical play, fire play, and indoor smoking stations, as well as the standard St Andrews crosses, suspension points, and spanking benches. There’s also a regular play space for all you *squares* out there.

Lust

Lust is one part kink/BDSM/play party, one part dinner/culinary experience, and one (large) part hedonistic fever dream. Hosted at House of Yes, Lust may seem a little “Eyes Wide Shut” when you first get there, but if you go with it, it’s worth it. The party features dinner served on people (and, unlike at most sex parties, the food is actually something you’re going to want to eat). After people eat and drink, the party transitions into sex/BDSM mode, which entails various scenes, interactive performances, flogging stations, and ample play area.

O.T.K Spankers Only Party

As Paddles NYC’s main spanking party, this one is relatively straightforward. If you’ve ever been interested in spanking (giving, receiving, watching, whatever), this is the place. If you can imagine getting hit on the ass by something, you can probably find someone there to hit with/be hit by it. Until 10 PM it’s pure spanking (meaning barehand, paddles, hairbrushes, rulers, straps, and canes), but after 10, you’re welcome to bring out whatever other gear you’ve got stashed away. Oh, and if you dress in a schoolgirl outfit, you get in for $5. bucks.

BDSM Rave

Wonderland

I will say this right off the bat. If you do not like burners, this party is not for you. That said, Wonderland is pretty unique as part rave, part play/BDSM party. Each month’s party has a theme that requires a costume (and they are very serious about this–they have a “no effort, no entrance” policy.) Wonderland takes place in this huge dojo, so there’s plenty of space for each section (namely, the fuck area, the dance area, and the BDSM area). One thing that’s important to remember is that their accountability system is Buddy-based, meaning you will need to come with one (or two, or three) people you’re comfortable promising to keep in line (and vice versa).

Shoe

Bedlam

Bedlam is another good choice if you’re looking to explore more equipment-based BDSM/play. They’re the party with all the fun shit you might not get to play with at home. They’ve got prison cells, suspended cages, bondage chairs and tables, and the rest of the general BDSM furniture collection including over ten suspension rigs with expert riggers. Monthly resident players offer safe, sane, but intense scenes in fire play, needle play, wax play, and impact play; onsite DMs and BDSM educators keep everybody informed and safe. $20. flat rate for everybody, and BYOB.

Happy hitting. Or fucking. Or hopping on one foot with a banana up your ass singing Eye of The Tiger backward. Or whatever it is that you’re into. No judgment.

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Lana A.

Lana A.

Lana A. is a writer, wanderer, archivist, storyteller, and general word-maker/appreciator. She likes books, whiskey, talking to strangers, and getting weird.