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Great Holiday DIY Gift Ideas for Lazy People

You have an artist’s soul. A maker’s hands. A poet’s brain. A beer-drinker’s gut.

Maybe you’re not into that capitalist bullshit. Maybe you’re about a rustic perspective on life.

Or maybe you’re a lazy fuck.

Whatever the reason, nothing says “I love you…enough to create a Christmas present that you almost certainly don’t want.”

Here are some helpful DIY gift ideas to share this holiday season.

A lego menorah

Courtesy of artistshelpingchildren.org

Courtesy of artistshelpingchildren.org

Grab some legos, make a menorah. That’s it. Just remember there are nine branches and that you don’t have to make the candles, just stick them on somehow. It’s a gift that combines a sense of nostalgia, your respect for Jewish culture, and your sick lego skills.

How lazy are you: That depends on whether or not you had to google how many branches there are. I did.

A painting of a cat, any cat

Courtesy of rainbowpudding18.deviantart.com

Courtesy of rainbowpudding18.deviantart.com

I hear people like cats. Stands to reason there’s someone in your life who would appreciate a painting of a cat, made by you. Probably.

How lazy are you: I mean, you had to go buy watercolors for this, right?

Hot chocolate mix in a Mason jar

Courtesy of 505-design.com

Courtesy of 505-design.com

At this point, I’m assuming you’re a hipster so you have a Mason jar or 15 at home. Just get some cocoa mix and stick it in there. Maybe put a twine bow on it. How adorable and rustic.

How lazy are you: Not lazy enough to not walk to Whole Foods and buy some cocoa mix.

A stolen succulent

Courtesy of lovelyetc.com

Courtesy of lovelyetc.com

Surprise: succulents can grow even if you break off a piece of them and stick that new piece in some dirt. So get climbing into your neighbor’s yard, snap off a piece of anything that’s green and looks like an MC Escher drawing, then stick it in…guess…a Mason jar.

How lazy are you: Not lazy enough to not commit two minor misdemeanors.

Your ear

Courtesy of history.com

Courtesy of history.com

Take a sharp knife, hack one ear off, put it in a box, deliver it to your loved one and commence making jokes about how “you’ll always have my ear” so that together, you can laugh and laugh through the pain.

How lazy are you: two full bottles of absinthe and a Van Gogh documentary-deep un-lazy.

A candle

Courtesy of wikihow.com

Courtesy of wikihow.com

Got perfume? Got a local Michael’s or Jo-Ann’s Craft store? You just melt some wax and perfume and stick them in a Mason jar. Honestly, at this point, putting anything in a Mason jar tells people you care but only enough to finally use all those Mason jars.

How lazy are you: did you figure out that you need a candle wick in the center or you just delivered a jar of smelly wax?

A home-cooked meal

Courtesy of fineartamerica.com

Courtesy of fineartamerica.com

This one’s for your frontier fantasies of guiding a young soldier home from the front to give him succor for the long winter days ahead. Subsequently, you should think about making chili or lasagna or something like that. But be sure to wear an apron, and nothing else.

How lazy are you: did you already know how to cook?

Your HBO GO account

Courtesy of huffingtonpost.com

Courtesy of huffingtonpost.com

Y’all, Westworld is really good.

How lazy are you: no but really, it’s good.

A photo collage

Courtesy of creativecraftsbycallie.wordpress.com

Courtesy of creativecraftsbycallie.wordpress.com

It can be a bunch of photos of you, a bunch of photos of them, in a scrapbook, on a posterboard, on the wall outside their house. It’s a gift that reminds everyone, “hey…facebook isn’t the only place we can remember what our faces look like.”

How lazy are you: enough to use stick glue instead of actual glue.

Crocheted boots

Courtesy of Pinterest

Courtesy of Pinterest

Here’s a super handy guide from Pinterest on crafting some boots out of crochet yarn:

But seriously? I’m totally messing with you, there’s no way you’d actually make that or make it well.

How lazy are you: “I was going to make you something from Pinterest and I even made a board for it but ummmm…here’s a smelly wax ball in a Mason jar.”

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Candace Cui - Actual Unicorn

Candace Cui - Actual Unicorn

At age 2, I was getting run over by a bike in an alley in China. At age 8, I was avoiding man-o-wars on Tybee Island. At age 14, I was overdrinking sweet tea while running through the woods barefoot. At age 20, I was learning Art History and how to drop it low. At age 25, I was making fun of drum circles at Dolores. At every age, I am charming the fuck out of you. Just wait, it'll happen.