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You Can Assign Tasks to Casual Lovers

Men & women both love feeling useful. And trust me, if you live alone there is probably a big gaping hole in your skill set that leaves some tasks poorly done, or not done at all. I once got knocked in the head three times a week by a rod holding up a curtain in my apartment because it wasn’t installed properly (I installed it.)

When a guy I brought home from a bar got hit in the head, he fixed it for me. I don’t remember his name, but I think nice things about him more often than I would had he just made me cum super hard.

Helping the cute guy you just brought home hang a picture, or watching a cute girl’s eyes light up when she watches you effortlessly change a light bulb, is fun. No matter how long you’ve known each other, tasks are a fast way to build up trust, cooperation, and good feelings before you try to make each other moan. Most people are happy to do one thing that’s easy for them and hard for you. Especially if they want to grind genitalia with you!

Courtesy A&E entertainment

Courtesy A&E entertainment

So, if you meet someone cool, that you would like to have sex with, feel free to ask them to do chores.

You don’t get a personal assistant or handyman for an hour in exchange for sex, don’t be an asshole.  Keep the task, and the relationship, casual. The chore can’t take longer than the foreplay, so make sure it’s quick, easy, and legal.

If someone gets arrested doing you a favor, you’re a monster.

If you have to leave your apartment to get supplies, you’re officially dating. If anyone hurts themselves, you have to meet each other’s moms.

Once you tell someone a problem, most people want to help you fix it. If it’s something they can do in ten minutes with minimum effort, and they’re not a sociopath, they’re going to volunteer to help. Someone may even volunteer to help you fix a thing you didn’t realize was broken. My friend once told a guy she was on a date with, “I really want to invite you home with me, but I can’t figure out how to install my AC. It’s too hot in my apartment to sleep with someone.” Turns out, he could help with that.

Just start sleeping with people who know how to do stuff, they’re probably better in bed anyway.

Via - Pinterest

Via – Pinterest

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Kaytlin Bailey

Kaytlin Bailey

Kaytlin Bailey is a stand-up comic. You may have seen her on MTV's Braless, or heard her on SiriusXM radio. She writes for Vice and travels with the CAKE Comedy Tour.