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A Hella Moody Guide to Touring San Francisco

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Some days suck and you also happen to have them off work. Binge watching Netflix is always a valid option, but if your legs are feeling as restless as your soul try this moody tour of San Francisco, specially designed to maximize high quality wallowing.

Bob’s Donuts

Even depressed people need coffee, but today is not the day to go to some third wave, hipster joint. You don’t need to see people with better accessories and tattoos than you. And you certainly don’t want to share space with optimistic, start-up hopefuls pounding away on their Mac’s. This is a day for Bob’s, where the coffee tastes as terrible as you feel. The regular’s are older and free of annoying puppy like enthusiasm. The donuts are amazing and you deserve good sugar today. Don’t force yourself to choose between chocolate and glazed. Get both.

SF Main Library

image from KALW

So you’re feeling lonely and forgotten? Try being a sad, dusty book at the San Francisco Public Library. A lot of these poor suckers haven’t been checked out in years. And they don’t have legs. Wander the stacks for as long as you want. The homeless people and librarians will give you your space. Look inside the books and think about the writers. Many of them were as tortured as you’re feeling and lots of them are already dead. If you have a library card you can even take some of your new friends home if you want.

The Asian Art Museum or Museum of the African Diaspora

When I’m feeling glum and like I don’t have any idea what’s going on inside me I like to immerse myself in cultures that I understand even less. There is something calming about being surrounded by artifacts from other places and times. You can float through worlds that were there before you and will go on long after you do. Treat yourself to some cool magnets or postcards at the giftshop, and remember that the first Sunday of every month if FREE admission at Asian Art Museum and the third Thursday of the month is FREE at the Museum of the African Diaspora

Vesuvio

photo from slyscope

When I’m morose I really like to day drink with Beatnik ghosts and Vesuvio is where they most like to float around. These guys were tortured and misunderstood just like you and they turned their angst into art. Take a cue from the greats and write some emo, self-indulgent poetry or prose. Allen Ginsberg’s ghost really likes when you do that. Guzzle, howl, repeat.

AIDS Memorial Grove

image from CemeteryTravel

This is the place in Golden Gate Park where natural beauty and tragedy hang out. The grove’s ghosts wear wear leather chaps, 80’s mustaches and cut-off jeans (at least in my imagination). The rocks say profound things. The volunteer keepers let the trees and bushes grow beautiful and wild. It’s a quiet, sacred place hidden from the profane hubbub of the city. Have a seat on one of the benches and listen to the wind blow through the trees. Bad shit happens and the trees keep growing.

San Francisco Zoo

image from SF Funcheap

Its best to go to the zoo when you’re already bummed because it’s basically an animal jail where all the inmates are innocent. But we’re all trapped in one way or another in bad jobs, relationships, situations or heads that we can’t escape. It’s easier to connect with the animals when you’re in touch with your own limitations. We’re all just animals trying to get by in the city. If you get a chance take a break on Tatiana’s the tigers memorial bench and feel her rage. Feels good right?

Now strap shoes on your mopey feet and getting going. Power to the moody people.

 

Editors note: If you’re legitimately dealing with depression please seek some help. Here’s a guide to treating depression on the cheap. Also, if you think you can’t afford help google “sliding scale therapy” and the name of your town and you can find some affordable therapists to talk to.

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Heather Robinson - Artisanal Trouble Maker

Heather Robinson - Artisanal Trouble Maker

Heather Robinson has been doing stupid stuff in San Francisco for almost 10 years. She loves dive bars, typewriters, and creative people. Buy her a beer and she'll solve all your problems.

  • No_Diggity

    Alcatraz, yo. That shit is hella moody bro.

  • pch1013

    “leather chaps […] and cut-off jeans”

    But not at the same time, surely.