Candace Cui - Actual Unicorn
No one (no one with eyes and a heart at least) doubts that we are living in scary, uncomfortable-at-best times. It’s times like these that remind me that animals are better than us. At the top of the “love you no matter what, always got you back” animal list is
San Francisco is where I learned to love food again so as a tribute to the beautiful, year-long bounty of excellence available on this coast before I brave the wilderness of Chicago, here are my favorite restaurants by neighborhood
If my vagina were a [category], it would be [example] because [reason]
“If my vagina were a state, it would be Florida because it’s often swampy and filled with danger”
If this is the first time you’ve seen this offense against God, you probably thought “what the hell am I looking at?” I know. I thought that too. It’s macaroni and cheese, fried, and possibly dunked in Cheeto dust. Much like the historic and horrible KFC Double Down of olde, it seems like it was created solely to push you into a heart attack. Or win you that next siege in World of Warcraft. Or both. I’m not trying to limit you.
Here are some notable San Francisco burgers on a very exact rating scale:
10 means I’d gladly murder my brother (if I had one) to eat it once a month and 1 means it’s basically the hamburger-shaped cardboard they serve in middle school cafeterias.
OFF MENU IS SPONSORED BY EMPEROR NORTON’S BOOZELAND THE TENDERLOIN’S NEWEST HISTORIC DIVE. HAPPY HOUR NOON – 7PM It’s spring, a time of renewal and warmer weather. That means ice cream. This isn’t just summer’s game anymore. There are too many flavor combinations to try and too few fucks I have to give
Anyone who knows me well will tell you with confidence that I have a good memory. They may even tell you that I have a frighteningly good memory. So please, trust that the things I tell you now are true and real (and verified by people who were already adults