Jessica Longo - Two-Bit Reporter

Colourful 2014 in fiery sparklers
27 Dec 2013

The Best Things to do in San Francisco for Under $20 on New Year’s Eve

Congrats on another year closer to death, broke-asses! I spent most of my Christmas Eve in flying metal tube limbo on my way to see family. When I stepped off the plane for a layover in Vegas, no joke, there was a huge pile of shit that even the industrious

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12 Jul 2011

I Choo Choo Choose You: The Joys of Traveling by Train

Summertime is Adventuretime and coincidentally, like Heidi, I have found myself in Portland. And I got here by the most delightful way, the train. (From Seattle after a plane ride from SF). I love the train, and it holds a very special place in my heart much like the US

Jessica Longo - Two-Bit Reporter 6
Explosions in the Sky
05 Jul 2011

Explosions in the Sky

Just got back from the wilderness where a bunch of friends and I celebrated America in liberating 100 degree weather. We shot a bald eagle with a bow and arrow, and roasted it over the fire with some gray salt, fresh ground pepper, and smoked paprika, decorated ourselves in freedom

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Pre-College Advice
14 Jun 2011

Pre-College Advice I Never Got

  Currently, I’m on the coast of Oregon, land of blackberries, loggers, and oysters. My cousin just graduated from high school and most of my family was drawn–by the magnetic pressure of my aunt–to her graduation party, complete with tents and two bands. I’m getting old and my brain is

Jessica Longo - Two-Bit Reporter 1
Dear Internet
01 Jun 2011

Dear Internet, I’m Sorry

the ultimate hat head Happy Memorial Day Recovery Week! I imagine most of us, like good Americans, are spending the day wondering exactly where the inevitable poison oak rash will show up, tending to damaged livers and patchy sunburns, and still uncomfortably digesting all those hot dogs. I also imagine

Jessica Longo - Two-Bit Reporter 2
22 Jan 2015

LOVE NOTES AND OTHER DISASTERS ZINE

A brand new collection of Broke-Ass Stuart's writing made up of some of his most famous pieces and new things never before published.

Broke-Ass Stuart - Editor In Cheap
Interesting-Person
24 May 2011

How to Be an Interesting Person

Guess what, boring lady? I don’t give a fuck. After meeting up with a friend tonight, I realized that I’ve become completely boring. Not only because she had traveled to places that are far enough that they show you two movies on the plane, hung out with friends in a

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27 Apr 2011

There’s no P in our Ool… but there’s Poop

Not to brag or anything, but I have some wonderful friends. And one of these wonderful friends just had a birthday and rented suite at a pretty fancy schmancy place down in Palm Springs. (It was great, Mom. We braided each others’ hair, had one two many glasses of chocolate

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