Joe Kukura- Millionaire in Training

sxsw_jumpshark
09 Mar 2017

SXSW is BullSX!T

SXSW jumped the shark long ago, so be glad you’re not attending the Doritos-sponsored Spring Break for corporate America that’s getting underway in Austin, Texas. SWSW calls itself a “music, film, and interactive festival”. What in the Hello Fresh is an “interactive festival”? It’s where the normally cool city of

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newtowngraffiti
27 Jan 2017

Year of the Cock Is Set To Come Upon Us

Gong hay fat choy! This Saturday is the official Chinese New Year, and the Year of the Cock is entering on Jan. 28 according to the Chinese Zodiac. Peckers will be proudly on display at celebrations worldwide, and Chinese New Year parades and parties will pull out the cock floats,

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header
29 Dec 2016

2016’s Most Heartbreaking Celebrity Deaths

We now say goodbye to the year that we said goodbye to many of our most beloved icons in, so it behooves us to take sad stock of the pop culture luminaries lost in 2016. We’ve ranked the most distinguished dearly departed below, to note their immortality in the melancholy

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duungenessheader
18 Nov 2016

The History Of Dungeness Crab Season In San Francisco

Dungeness crab season is back and in full effect! After a lengthy ban on commercial fishing of the delectable little crustaceans in California, Dungeness crab season got back underway this week and restored a cherished San Francisco tradition of chowing down locally caught crab for Thanksgiving and Christmas. (Okay, so

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nevius
14 Oct 2016

Farewell and F*** You, C.W. Nevius

Farewell and good riddance to San Francisco’s most insufferable complainy-pants newspaper columnist C.W. Nevius, whose “Get off my lawn” diatribes for some reason have been published by the San Francisco Chronicle for the last 36 years. Nevius announced he was leaving the Chronicle this week, and we slam the door behind

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666_640
13 Oct 2016

FiveThirtyEight Poll Confirms Hillary Clinton Is Antichrist

GUEST POST By:  Satan, Prince Of Darkness Puny humans! My Antichrist is revealed in a recent FiveThirtyEight “polls-plus” forecast. As you can plainly see above from a recent FiveThirtyEight forecast, My great false messiah is revealed to be your Democratic Presidential candidate Hillary Clinton, thus ensuring her complete victory over

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dream party
04 Oct 2016

How To Crash All The Best Dreamforce 2016 Parties For Free

Open bar and appetizers paid for by Corporate America await you all week as Dreamforce 2016 swallows up SoMa and downtown (Oct. 4-7). The world’s largest software conference is also the world’s largest party-crashing opportunity, with oodles of cash-negative startups throwing insanely opulent parties all over our fair city. Here’s

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