ALL ABOUT OUR HOT-ASS WRITERS

  • Broke-Ass Stuart - Editor In Cheap

    Broke-Ass Stuart – Editor in Cheap

    I've been called "an Underground legend": SF Chronicle , "an SF cult hero": SF Bay Guardian, and "the chief of cheap": Time Out New York, but to those familiar with my work, I'm just "that douchebag who writes books about cheap stuff and drinks a lot".

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  • Enriqueg

    Enrique Grijalva – Mr. Minimum Wage

    My father came, my mother saw...and I conquered. I encourage children to do drugs, I buy alcohol for teenagers, and I drink beer with the homeless. In my spare time, I attend art galleries for the FREE booze, I rub elbows with modish elephants, and I hammer six-inch nails into small penises. Stuart knighted me as Broke-Ass King of New York. You've been warned.

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  • illiyana

    illyanna Maisonet – La Gorda

    illyanna is a Puerto Rican only child from the Sacramento River Delta. She resides in Oakland. Her misadventures can be found on her blog, EatGordaEat, where she shares recipes, her crush on Andy Ricker and how she hella loves her cat, Che. She is currently working on a Puerto Rican cookbook, set to release in autumn 2015.

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  • Stephen Torres - Threadbare-Fact Finder

    Stephen Torres – Threadbare-Fact Finder

    Stephen's early years were spent in a boxcar overlooking downtown Los Angeles. From there he moved around the state with his family before settling under the warm blanket of smog that covers suburban Southern California. Moving around led to his inabilty to stay in one place for very long, but San Francisco has been reeling him back in with its siren song since 1999. By trade he pours booze, but likes to think he can write and does so occasionally for people like the SF Bay Guardian. He also likes to enoy time spent in old eateries, bars and businesses that, by most standards, would have been condemned a long time ago.

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  • Laura Smith

    Laura S – Spendthrift Scribe

    Laura S, left the "sixth borough" three years ago to settle in Brooklyn. After working at some daily rags, she now does writing on the side but still eats more Ramen then necessary. When she's not moving residences every 6 months, eating her way through every neighborhood, and trying every microbrew known to man, she is unsuccessfully rediscovering home economics. With her binging days behind her, she's now exploring new projects and rediscovering the city that she loves (although is still prone to sliding on her knees during a Prince karaoke set).

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  • Carrie Laven - Pretty Penniless

    Carrie Laven – Pretty Penniless

    Carrie Laven is a natural-born storyteller from California, but she lives in New York now. She likes dogs, nail art, and Mexican food, but mostly she likes scoring sweet deals at thrift stores. She tends to have a flair for the dramatic.

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  • stephen-jackson

    Stephen Jackson – In Therapy

    I've been called "an Underground legend": SF Chronicle , "an SF cult hero": SF Bay Guardian, and "the chief of cheap": Time Out New York, but to those familiar with my work, I'm just "that douchebag who writes books about cheap stuff and drinks a lot".

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  • Spring 2014 005

    Alex Mak – Broke Broadcaster

    Alex writes about culture and interviews strange, wonderful, and brilliant people for the 'Local Legends' series. Do you know a legend? Let us know at tips@brokeassstuart.com or on twitter @AlexMakSF

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  • HeidiS

    Heidi Smith – The Ultimate Scavenger

    Originally from San Diego, Heidi migrated north to study journalism at SFSU and interned for the SF Bay Guardian writing music stuff. She later embarked on a study-abroad program in both Denmark and Holland, and basically never came home. For six long years, she froze her ass off in Oslo, Norway, pretending to be a viking princess, trying to figure out how to survive in the most expensive city in the world. The other two years were spent frolicking on the beach in Spain - sipping on sangria in between being tossed around Europe working as a stressed-out journalist. Heidi currently works at for a non-profit cultural exchange program, helping others experience life from a different perspective. She is thrilled to be back in SF, magnetizing the obscure, and scavenging the city for fun, free things to do.

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  • AmberBSquare

    Amber Bouman – Crafty & Cashless

    A freelance writer, blogger and poet based in San Francisco, Amber has written for PC World, InfoWorld, and the 16th & Mission Review. She has performed at City Hall, Litquake, the Brainwash, 16th & Mission, BlueSix, and SFSU among other places. Amber is also consummate fan of swearing, organizational freak, yoga practitioner, music geek, caffeine addict, and tattoo enthusiast who enjoys platform shoes, making out, thumb wrestling and fighting the good fight. She owns a bicycle named Gretel, a motor scooter named Elroy and a cat named Simon. She can be found in various virtual locations all over your interwebs.

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  • Christy Jovanelly - Cheapskate Commentator

    Christy Jovanelly – Cheapskate Commentator

    When Christy announced she was leaving her family's Southern California home and moving to San Francisco, her mom said, "Have fun in that den of sin." This is the only (however sarcastic) advice Christy has ever taken from her mom, who also told her to join eharmony.com and cover her eyes during sex scenes in movies. Christy puts her creative writing degree to good use by locating the typos on Chinese food menus and spends most of her time challenging friends to all-you-can-eat contests and trying to get that one bartender at Zeitgeist to smile.

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  • freddiecosmospirit

    Freddie Cosmo – Associate Debtitor

    Freddie Cosmo is a recording artist from Philadelphia, PA. living in New York City by way of Miami. He spent all his money on undergrad music school and feels as though he owes all musicians (and the universe for that matter) the most accurate information on how to be broke without giving up on their dreams. He would like to shamelessly invite you to check out his music at www.soundcloud.com/freddie-cosmo.

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  • ennifer-Nilenie-Broke-Ass-Stuart-NYC

    Jennifer Nilenie – The Destitute-Social Critic

    Writing for the heck of it since she was an eight-year-old, Jenny Nilenie now seeks social justice through her voice and any other medium she can access. She’s the creator of Jin-Editos; a self-published collection of books featuring essays, poetry and short stories intended for the working class and a few wealthy, nosy bodies. Puerto Rican born black-and-proud female, who’s residing in New York, and knows what it's like to be an immigrant in a city that is both harsh and exiting. She loves to poison train rider-ears with her poetry and is often rewarded by not getting beat up.

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  • JazS

    J. Sharelle – Ms. Do-It-Yourself

    Brooklyn born-and-bred poet & songwriter, J. Sharelle has been organizing and performing in NYC since 2005. She began with spoken word events and has since evolved to live performances, backed by a full band. At a young age, J. Sharelle’s life began to change and innocence grew dim. Family was changing, people who once meant everything were gone. Knowing very little about music, she found freedom from the pain of loved ones lost in melodies. At a tender age music became everything —most of all her means to cope with hardships. "When I was 7, I memorized my first song…it was Audio2’s 1987 classic, “Top Billin”. It was refreshingly different then my uncles 70’s slow jams or those tear-jerking gospel hymns my grandmother played. It was then that I realized there was music for every occasion. I can picture myself with ponytails, a gold chain, and cut up denim shorts in the mix of a fish fry, a card game or better yet a block party, and not because I cared about the festivities but because I wanted to be where the music was no matter the outcome". J. Sharelle’s writing embarks on love & life; truth & emotions; triumph & loss. Her writings evoke the passion of a spoken word artist combined with finesse of a R&B artist. Giving life to the art of songwriting, J. Sharelle breathes power and passion back to words.

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  • Kaetan-Mazza-Broke-Ass-Stuart-NYC

    Kaetan Mazza – The Broke-Joke-Who-Enjoys-a-Toke

    Kaetan Mazza currently resides on the couches of his friends, family and, sometimes in the beds of some very altruistic strangers, around the NYC metro area. He is motivated by publicly mocking and ridiculing himself and others. His literary heroes are Christopher Hitchens and Chelsea Handler.

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  • Ashley Friedman - Cornerstore Correspondent

    Ashley Friedman – Cornerstore Correspondent

    Like most kids, Ashley grew up in New Jersey. Unlike most kids the Friedman's televison set acted as a third parent, imbuing young Ashley with the stern moral values of Claire Huxtable, the dramatic tendencies of Brenda Walsh and the earnest hopefulness of the blond kid on Silver Spoons. After graduating from Sarah Lawrence Ashley made her way to the Park Slope area of Brooklyn where she can currently be found reading foreign fashion magazines, scouring ebay for vintage heels, eating out in restaurants and otherwise stretching her meager income as far as it will go in NYC.

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  • AnnaG-10

    Anna G. – Caliburg Contributor

    Anna G. is a Southern California native living in the Williamsburg area of Brooklyn since 2005. Anna is constantly trying to unite her love of CA sunshine and the excitement of the New York urban jungle, all the while trying to keep her unwieldy credit card debt under control, and look fabulous at brunch, no matter how un-showered and hungover.

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  • MonicaM

    Monica Miller – The Intern

    Ms. Miller was born in San Diego, CA to one lesbian mother and one righteous, cheap father. Currently, she is enrolled at San Francisco State University for a B.A. in Journalism and the approximate completion date is around 2015. She has worked for many papers in the Bay Area, including the Oakland Tribune and the San Mateo Country Times and is currently the city editor at one of the most underappreciated publications in SF, the Golden Gate [X]press. Though she may find bargains aplenty, it only stems from the necessity of never landing an actual job and working for hacks [like Stuart.] With intelligence, style, poise, bite, and honesty, she will rip your heart out; but not before writing some awesome, poignant shit. This year, she is looking forward to bigger and better things such as: trying to get paid for a gig, actually finding a date that isn't a loser or fucking crazy, not calling her parents when hungover and bringing you the best of the 7x7 everyday of the week. [By the way, I wasn't kidding about the date thing; if you love food, booze and shoegaze, get at me.]

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  • Kiley E - Ragamuffin Researcher

    Kiley E – Ragamuffin Researcher

    After years of denial, Kiley has finally admitted to baring a striking resemblance to Velma from Scooby Doo. Instead of traveling in a van hunting ghosts, she prefers wandering on foot in search of tacos, cheap beer, and fake birds. Growing up in Portland, Kiley enjoyed the balance of urban and green spaces. Then she spent her four years at Ithaca College, and found herself craving more sprawling asphalt in her life. So she moved to Williamsburg, Brooklyn, where most of the buildings look like they're about to collapse. Kiley's favorite activities include: getting lost, crafting, sewing, biking, and geeking out at museums. Her love of taxidermy probably makes her a terrible vegetarian, but she doesn't care.

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  • chloe-newsom

    Chloe Newsom – Dive Bar Desperado

    I like kittens, 40s, cupcakes, pizza, metal, thigh-highs, weekends, travelling, and parks. Lemmy is god. That's...that about covers it.

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  • Nate Cox – Low-Budget Literati

    Nate was born in the People's Republic of Berkeley and has gotten weirder ever since. After pursuing an economically unwise degree in Literature at UCSB, he has returned to the Bay to try this whole starving artist thing. Get him drunk enough and he will tell you about everything from Aboriginal Australian languages to jazz theory to how he coulda been a contendah. In his spare time, he looks at satellite images on Google Earth of places he will never go.

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  • donna-rose

    Donna Rose – Bankrupt Blonde

    DR has maintained at or just below poverty level her entire life. She lives in Oakland with her imaginary pet cat, Joel.

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  • Scott-james

    Scott James – Paperback Pundit

    Author of Sidewalk Ritual, self-publishing teacher, lover of coffee and IPA. http://scottandrewjames.com

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  • Chloe - Pennywise Reporter

    Chloe – Pennywise Reporter

    Chloe's youth was split between California and Kauai, frolicking on a macadamia nut farm in the tropics and landing finally in the Bay Area. Raised by super-Jew hippies, and the youngest of three sisters, Chloe learned early the virtues of thrift, economy, and green living. To the chagrin of her parents (who hoped, of course, for a Jewish doctor or lawyer), Chloe has put her degree from UC Berkeley to great use by becoming a folk singer. As "Chloe Makes Music" she plays shows throughout SF and beyond, donning vintage frocks, selling handmade merch, and pinching pennies as she sings for her supper. Calling Berkeley home for the last six years, you can think of Chloe as the website's East Bay Correspondent, opening your eyes to the hippie-filled, tree-hugging, organic-loving, vegan-eating, but way-overlooked and awesome assets of Berkeley, Oakland, and beyond.

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  • Alison Lambert - Half Price Headliner

    Alison Lambert – Half Price Headliner

    Ali was born and raised in the Wholesome/Creepy capital of the world, Salt Lake City, UT. Once she was old enough to blow that pop stand she escaped to the place that was the anti-SLC: The Peoples Gay-public of Drugifornia aka San Francisco (holla 30 Rock!). You can now find her throughout this glorious city slurping Pho and scheming with her best friend Pinky doing what they do every night; try and take over the world.

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  • matt-fink

    Matt Fink – Fatt Mink

    I grew up in San Jose, only 50 minutes away from S.F. My dad, brother and I came up often to visit family and/or to fart around, and whenever the car came over the rise on Hwy. 101 just after Candlestick Park, I could hear an almost audible "Click" in my brain. The blinding, beautifully rolling blanket of diverse urbanity spread out before our speeding automobile, coupled with draughts of the clean, cool air conspired to instill in me a growing discontent with San Jose. Add access to hitherto unknown strata of music, booze and food culture, not to mention pet-deification and testicular-separators, and I couldn't be kept away for long. Even after ten years of residency, the sight of a glistening pair of moose-knuckles swinging down Market St. still makes my heart swell with pride.

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  • emily

    Emily Crichton – Two Buck Chick

    Emily grew up in the great American Midwest where she learned to appreciate the finer things in life, such as cheese curds, polka dancing, and building up a superhuman immune defense to lake sludge. Somewhere in her young adulthood, Emily got all kinds of geeky about wine and decided to forgo a life of luxury in order to be a pro wino in one of the most expensive cities on the planet. This career move would prove to be great for broke-asses everywhere seeking cheap, tasty wine suggestions, but not so great for Emily's predilection for anxiety-free bill-paying. On the rare occasion that she is not imbibing or writing about wine, Emily can usually be found traipsing around estate sales, defending her Wisconsin vernacular, challenging strangers to thumb-wrestling matches, and wishing "Three’s Company” was still on primetime TV.

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  • Chloe-dolores

    Chloe Doores – Economical in the East Bay

    I'm a very simple gal. Music, books, beer, trees and friends. I like to check stuff out, check people out, check out new food and drink, and put it all down on paper. I live in Oakland and think it's a damn fine city. Won't you come and check it out?

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  • JillS

    Jill Strominger – Budget Baller

    Jill is an Ohio native and Boston University graduate who refuses to stop saying "pop" and wearing her Red Sox gear despite being heckled for doing so since moving to Brooklyn. She's been honing her thrifty ways since doing that silly thing people talk about when they ignore reason to follow their hearts and chose a career in the fulfilling but faltering music industry. She earns her beer money as a publicist and writer, and spends her spare time cooking, biking, and trying to decide if she's ready to get a cat.

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  • Jessica Longo - Out the Door Special

    Jessica Longo – Out the Door Special

    Jessica was born, moved around a lot and has an odd dialect to prove it (see: hella, bubbler, and cawfee), and is now precariously settled in SF. Despite graduating high school too many years ago to count, she was crowned Prom Queen this summer and considers her life complete now. Last year her production editing job was outsourced to the Philippines. Hope they like it. Luckily for you, this Lady of Leisure is currently accepting applications for the position of Wealthy Benefactor.

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