ALL ABOUT OUR HOT-ASS WRITERS

  • Broke-Ass Stuart - Editor In Cheap

    Broke-Ass Stuart – Editor in Cheap

    I've been called "an Underground legend": SF Chronicle , "an SF cult hero": SF Bay Guardian, and "the chief of cheap": Time Out New York, but to those familiar with my work, I'm just "that douchebag who writes books about cheap stuff and drinks a lot".

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  • Enriqueg

    Enrique Grijalva – Mr. Minimum Wage (Editor, New York)

    My father came, my mother saw...and I conquered. I encourage children to do drugs, I buy alcohol for teenagers, and I drink beer with the homeless. In my spare time, I attend art galleries for the FREE booze while rubbing elbows with modish elephants. I also hammer six-inch nails into small penises. Stuart knighted me as Broke-Ass King of New York. You've been warned.

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  • illiyana

    Illyanna Maisonet – La Gorda (Editor, Calendar & Web)

    illyanna is a Puerto Rican only child from the Sacramento River Delta. She resides in Oakland. Her misadventures can be found on her blog, EatGordaEat, where she shares recipes, her crush on Andy Ricker and how she hella loves her cat, Che. She recently finished her Puerto Rican cookbook manuscript, Gorda Eats: A Puerto Rican Cookbook.

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  • Stephen Torres - Threadbare-Fact Finder

    Stephen Torres – Threadbare-Fact Finder (Editor, San Francisco)

    Stephen's early years were spent in a boxcar overlooking downtown Los Angeles. From there he moved around the state with his family before settling under the warm blanket of smog that covers suburban Southern California. Moving around led to his inabilty to stay in one place for very long, but San Francisco has been reeling him back in with its siren song since 1999. By trade he pours booze, but likes to think he can write and does so occasionally for people like the SF Bay Guardian. He also likes to enoy time spent in old eateries, bars and businesses that, by most standards, would have been condemned a long time ago.

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  • freddiecosmospirit

    Freddie Cosmo – Associate Debtitor

    Freddie Cosmo is a recording artist from Philadelphia, PA. living in New York City by way of Miami. He spent all his money on undergrad music school and feels as though he owes all musicians (and the universe for that matter) the most accurate information on how to be broke without giving up on their dreams. He would like to shamelessly invite you to check out his music at www.soundcloud.com/freddie-cosmo.

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    Jennifer Nilenie – The Destitute-Social Critic

    Writing for the heck of it since she was an eight-year-old, Jenny Nilenie now seeks social justice through her voice and any other medium she can access. She’s the creator of Jin-Editos; a self-published collection of books featuring essays, poetry and short stories intended for the working class and a few wealthy, nosy bodies. Puerto Rican born black-and-proud female, who’s residing in New York, and knows what it's like to be an immigrant in a city that is both harsh and exiting. She loves to poison train rider-ears with her poetry and is often rewarded by not getting beat up.

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    P Segal- Bohemian Archivist

    P Segal is a San Francisco native, writer, therapist, and life coach. Literary agents have called her a clever niche writer, but none of them can figure out what the hell her niche is.

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  • Badinage-lust-young beast

    Badinage – Senior Drug Analyst

    I wanted to be a 'traveling bartender' and live in every major city for 6 months and have a girlfriend and a boyfriend in each city. At the end, I would pick my favorite destination and live there permanently. I've lived in Amsterdam, Boston, Chicago, Denver, and Madison Psychiatric Ward in the corner room on the top bunk that we decided to keep on the floor.

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  • chloe-newsom

    Chloe Newsom – Dive Bar Desperado

    I like kittens, 40s, cupcakes, pizza, metal, thigh-highs, weekends, travelling, and parks. Lemmy is god. That's...that about covers it.

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  • JazS

    J. Sharelle – Ms. Do-It-Yourself

    Brooklyn born-and-bred poet & songwriter, J. Sharelle has been organizing and performing in NYC since 2005. She began with spoken word events and has since evolved to live performances, backed by a full band. At a young age, J. Sharelle’s life began to change and innocence grew dim. Family was changing, people who once meant everything were gone. Knowing very little about music, she found freedom from the pain of loved ones lost in melodies. At a tender age music became everything —most of all her means to cope with hardships. "When I was 7, I memorized my first song…it was Audio2’s 1987 classic, “Top Billin”. It was refreshingly different then my uncles 70’s slow jams or those tear-jerking gospel hymns my grandmother played. It was then that I realized there was music for every occasion. I can picture myself with ponytails, a gold chain, and cut up denim shorts in the mix of a fish fry, a card game or better yet a block party, and not because I cared about the festivities but because I wanted to be where the music was no matter the outcome". J. Sharelle’s writing embarks on love & life; truth & emotions; triumph & loss. Her writings evoke the passion of a spoken word artist combined with finesse of a R&B artist. Giving life to the art of songwriting, J. Sharelle breathes power and passion back to words.

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  • Kaetan-Mazza-Broke-Ass-Stuart-NYC

    Kaetan Mazza – The Broke-Joke-Who-Enjoys-a-Toke

    Kaetan Mazza currently resides on the couches of his friends, family and, sometimes in the beds of some very altruistic strangers, around the NYC metro area. He is motivated by publicly mocking and ridiculing himself and others. His literary heroes are Christopher Hitchens and Chelsea Handler.

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    Matt Fink – Fatt Mink

    Matt was born into a family of dreamy-eyed bookworms and staunch leftists in downtown San Jose, California. The sperm of the writing arts have long swam in his blood looking for the ovum of inspiration. However, his first love was music rather than literature; in 2002 he moved to San Francisco and studied Music and Italian, graduating in 2007. His move to S.F. coincided with the urgent need to pay his way; thus he joined the teeming ranks of the restaurant industry, where he still slaves away tending bar in the city's finer purveyors of food and grog, giving him a ground-level perspective which informs his writings about the Bay Area's ever-expanding culinary scene.

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    Fabian Echevarria – Frugal Photo Pro

    Known for a highly developed sense of thrift amongst friends and coworkers, Fabian’s gift of making that minimum wage paycheck last is hard to beat. Two things you can count on with Fabian: he always packs a lunch and brings his own cheap booze. He also seems to have a knack with his favorite media, photography.You could find him at parks, beaches, and night life events throughout San Francisco, camera generally in hand. You can also follow him at https://www.fbfe.me

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  • Carrie Laven - Pretty Penniless

    Carrie Laven – Pretty Penniless

    Carrie Laven is a natural-born storyteller from California, but she lives in New York now. She likes dogs, nail art, and Mexican food, but mostly she likes scoring sweet deals at thrift stores. She tends to have a flair for the dramatic.

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  • Jessica Longo - Out the Door Special

    Jessica Longo – Out the Door Special

    Jessica was born, moved around a lot and has an odd dialect to prove it (see: hella, bubbler, and cawfee), and is now precariously settled in SF. Despite graduating high school too many years ago to count, she was crowned Prom Queen this summer and considers her life complete now. Last year her production editing job was outsourced to the Philippines. Hope they like it. Luckily for you, this Lady of Leisure is currently accepting applications for the position of Wealthy Benefactor.

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  • Nate Cox – Low-Budget Literati

    Nate was born in the People's Republic of Berkeley and has gotten weirder ever since. After pursuing an economically unwise degree in Literature at UCSB, he has returned to the Bay to try this whole starving artist thing. Get him drunk enough and he will tell you about everything from Aboriginal Australian languages to jazz theory to how he coulda been a contendah. In his spare time, he looks at satellite images on Google Earth of places he will never go.

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  • AmberBSquare

    Amber Bouman – Crafty & Cashless

    A freelance writer, blogger and poet based in San Francisco, Amber has written for PC World, InfoWorld, and the 16th & Mission Review. She has performed at City Hall, Litquake, the Brainwash, 16th & Mission, BlueSix, and SFSU among other places. Amber is also consummate fan of swearing, organizational freak, yoga practitioner, music geek, caffeine addict, and tattoo enthusiast who enjoys platform shoes, making out, thumb wrestling and fighting the good fight. She owns a bicycle named Gretel, a motor scooter named Elroy and a cat named Simon. She can be found in various virtual locations all over your interwebs.

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  • stephen-jackson

    Stephen Jackson – In Therapy

    For the most part, Stephen wanders around looking for people to talk to. Born in Manhattan and raised in Santa Monica, he's been cultivating the skill of living large on a dime since he began hoarding his juice boxes in preschool. Currently, the majority of his time is spent raising a dog and feigning wealth.

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  • HeidiS

    Heidi Smith – The Ultimate Scavenger

    Originally from San Diego, Heidi migrated north to study journalism at SFSU and interned for the SF Bay Guardian writing music stuff. She later embarked on a study-abroad program in both Denmark and Holland, and basically never came home. For six long years, she froze her ass off in Oslo, Norway, pretending to be a viking princess, trying to figure out how to survive in the most expensive city in the world. The other two years were spent frolicking on the beach in Spain - sipping on sangria in between being tossed around Europe working as a stressed-out journalist. Heidi currently works at for a non-profit cultural exchange program, helping others experience life from a different perspective. She is thrilled to be back in SF, magnetizing the obscure, and scavenging the city for fun, free things to do.

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    Tamara Chang – spARTan ilLESStrator

    I am a freelance illustrator/artist from the SF Bay Area. Ducks and fish are my favorite animals to look at, draw, and eat. When not illustrating or painting, I can usually be found illustrating or painting.

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    Scott James – Paperback Pundit

    Author of Sidewalk Ritual, self-publishing teacher, lover of coffee and IPA. http://scottandrewjames.com

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  • emily

    Emily Crichton – Two Buck Chick

    Emily grew up in the great American Midwest where she learned to appreciate the finer things in life, such as cheese curds, polka dancing, and building up a superhuman immune defense to lake sludge. Somewhere in her young adulthood, Emily got all kinds of geeky about wine and decided to forgo a life of luxury in order to be a pro wino in one of the most expensive cities on the planet. This career move would prove to be great for broke-asses everywhere seeking cheap, tasty wine suggestions, but not so great for Emily's predilection for anxiety-free bill-paying. On the rare occasion that she is not imbibing or writing about wine, Emily can usually be found traipsing around estate sales, defending her Wisconsin vernacular, challenging strangers to thumb-wrestling matches, and wishing "Three’s Company” was still on primetime TV.

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  • Kiley E - Ragamuffin Researcher

    Kiley E – Ragamuffin Researcher

    After years of denial, Kiley has finally admitted to baring a striking resemblance to Velma from Scooby Doo. Instead of traveling in a van hunting ghosts, she prefers wandering on foot in search of tacos, cheap beer, and fake birds. Growing up in Portland, Kiley enjoyed the balance of urban and green spaces. Then she spent her four years at Ithaca College, and found herself craving more sprawling asphalt in her life. So she moved to Williamsburg, Brooklyn, where most of the buildings look like they're about to collapse. Kiley's favorite activities include: getting lost, crafting, sewing, biking, and geeking out at museums. Her love of taxidermy probably makes her a terrible vegetarian, but she doesn't care.

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  • MonicaM

    Monica Miller – The Intern

    Ms. Miller was born in San Diego, CA to one lesbian mother and one righteous, cheap father. Currently, she is enrolled at San Francisco State University for a B.A. in Journalism and the approximate completion date is around 2015. She has worked for many papers in the Bay Area, including the Oakland Tribune and the San Mateo Country Times and is currently the city editor at one of the most underappreciated publications in SF, the Golden Gate [X]press. Though she may find bargains aplenty, it only stems from the necessity of never landing an actual job and working for hacks [like Stuart.] With intelligence, style, poise, bite, and honesty, she will rip your heart out; but not before writing some awesome, poignant shit. This year, she is looking forward to bigger and better things such as: trying to get paid for a gig, actually finding a date that isn't a loser or fucking crazy, not calling her parents when hungover and bringing you the best of the 7x7 everyday of the week. [By the way, I wasn't kidding about the date thing; if you love food, booze and shoegaze, get at me.]

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    Anna G. – Caliburg Contributor

    Anna G. is a Southern California native living in the Williamsburg area of Brooklyn since 2005. Anna is constantly trying to unite her love of CA sunshine and the excitement of the New York urban jungle, all the while trying to keep her unwieldy credit card debt under control, and look fabulous at brunch, no matter how un-showered and hungover.

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    Patricia Serrano – Destitute Diva

    Patricia Serrano is a classically-trained screenwriter with a passion for one-of-kind life experiences and well-written paragraphs. Hailing from Bangkok, Thailand, she was disowned by her family when she decided to be a writer. She came to the states to pursue a career in journalism at Emerson College, but found that writing films pissed her parents off more. She successfully survived a two-year MFA program for Dramatic Writing at NYU that has left her bank account at a negative balance and gets instant gratification from writing for the web.

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    Donna Rose – Bankrupt Blonde

    DR has maintained at or just below poverty level her entire life. She lives in Oakland with her imaginary pet cat, Joel.

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  • Chloe-dolores

    Chloe Doores – Economical in the East Bay

    I'm a very simple gal. Music, books, beer, trees and friends. I like to check stuff out, check people out, check out new food and drink, and put it all down on paper. I live in Oakland and think it's a damn fine city. Won't you come and check it out?

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  • Kathleen Neves - Beauty Babe on a Budget  Email Kathleen

    Kathleen Neves – Beauty Babe on a Budget

    Licensed esthetician by day and product junkie and writer by night. I love reading, writing and researching beauty and makeup topics such as education, new makeup/skin care product launches, product reviews, beauty advice, product ingredients, special/local beauty events, as well as documenting my own professional experience as an esthetician. Living in San Francisco is expensive so I am always on the hunt for cost effective beauty bargains.

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  • Sarah M. Smart - Red-Light Special

    Sarah M. Smart – Red-Light Special

    Sarah M. Smart was summoned into being on a distant ice cream planet through an unholy union of Two-Buck Chuck and unicorns. They sent her to Indianapolis and then the University of Missouri's School of Journalism to spread peace and big hair. Perpetually in mourning for the comma, she has worked for a variety of print media, including Indianapolis Monthly, Global Journalist, and Vox. Since moving to San Francisco for the booming dumpster-diving scene, she has been an online operative for such fine folks as Horoscope.com , Neo-Factory, and Academy of Art University. After a day of cat-feeding, hat-making, dog-walking, vegan baking, and daydreaming about marrying rich, all she wants is a margarita as big as her face.

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