Your alarm goes off. “Fuck…” you mumble to yourself. Your mouth tastes like bad decisions and your tongue feels like sandpaper. You’re not sure if you’re hungover or still drunk but you know you’re in such bad shape that you’re even creating new swearwords, “Oh Jesus fuckhammer” you groan. Then
Seven words and three consecutive exclamation points: Get the fuck out of San Francisco!!! There. I said it. But wait — this has nothing to do with high rents. Nor does it have to do with tech busses, $7 coffee or anything else akin to getting ear-fucked by a sharp pencil soaked in
What if you had no home? This is a question that everyone should ask themselves. You must do this even if you have all your shit together and you have everything under control, all the time. In that case you are probably also the mythical unicorn, honest-politician, big foot hybrid I
Over the past few years I’ve watched as San Francisco has been pulled out from under us and sold to the highest bidder. And I’m fed up and heartbroken. San Francisco is for everyone, not just the wealthy elite, and this is why I’ve decided to run for mayor....
As a kid, growing up in Italy, I used to often read the Babysitter’s Club series, along with similar kids’ books about everything American, such as tree houses and baseball and shopping malls. I remember being particularly stuck on the concept of garage sales. My mind was boggled by the
Hello, I’m here to regale you with things I learned in San Francisco in 2013. I realize that I lack credibility because I’m not a native and it’s not my adopted city, and I realize my balls are made more of a koosh ball material than steel because I let
The Infamous Arrow Bar (Image taken from Yelp) I lived in San Francisco back when I used to puke a lot. And pee in alleys. Be it, cuz I was drunk, or high – my glory days – I would find myself in front of the Arrow Bar with some
If only this were true… Yesterday I was stuck in the Newark Liberty Airport (EWR) when my flight was delayed for six hours. The entire airport was using only 1 runway for all take-offs and landings. It was a like a bunch of Jersey stereotypes all thrown into an