How disappointing sweet, sweet spring has been so far; the Vernal Equinox has been as life-improving as a vernal pool. Although the upcoming weather looks unreal, I (weather.com) really blew it Monday with a forecast for sunny weather and taxes are on their way to the audit room. The good news is there are spirit and wine tastings at shops so we can drink under their harsh, flaw revealing lights more frequently. I don’t know if it is seasonal, nor do I care.
If you just want the weblink to find some free tastings go here. Otherwise, read some additional justifications to go to classy stores that sell alcohol, but don’t carry phillies. After all, I’m not JUST a bargain whore.
1. Smoke and Mirrors: it gives you some wiggle room with your overly concerned friends who say you shouldn’t be going to bars 7 days a week. They are probably just jealous because you are slugging down beers and never really getting any better at pool. Anyway, they can get off your back cause you’re “just running to the store”.
2. Exposure/Diversification: you will try spirits that you would never otherwise risk an hour’s pay on. This will also come in handy when you want to sound knowledgeable with a lady or gent. Imagine (hard) you are on a date and the person you are paying for says, “Hmm, I think I’ll have the apple bourbon from the craft distillery in the barrels made of Ark wood”. Thanks to free tastings you can now jump in and say, “That’s a little too smokey actually”. Then, quickly and with assertion, turn to the barkeep and order 2 Gordon’s (use slight French accent, it works for everything, even shitty Russian vodka) and tonic. Not only have you saved yourself 10 slices of $1 pizza, but you have come across as really cosmopolitan.
3. Learn Personal Responsibility: Unlike other promotional events, these never get out of hand. Dsip your free alcohol and return home for a quiet night before a productive day, unless you are immune to the judgment of the gentry who also come to these events. You know, some of the people here might actually BUY a bottle if they like what they taste. I have NEVER bought something because of a sample. I did buy rum that was being promoted, but I was going to do that anyway. The 2 “taster” shots to “convince myself” was pure theatre.
On to the booze. I’m going to try to make timely posts when I come across (i.e. some alerts me and I don’t have to do shit) good free tastings. I know a few upcoming tastings for Tanteo tequila that I’ll post in a few days. For now, use this awesome resource – just be warned many of the events listed are very educational and therefore costly, but the freebies are tucked in there. On good days you can do your own “pairings” and bounce between a few. Or, go to the costume shop and make a game of how many times you can taste it again for the first time.
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