Eat Some Bull Penis at Kenka

Oh Kenka…Kenka…Kenka…Kenka. You are one of the weirdest fucking places I’ve ever eaten in my entire life and for that, I salute you. I’m literally sitting here in front of my computer trying to find the proper words with which to describe you and the only thing that keeps popping into my head is “bull penis”. Yes, bull penis. You sell bull penis. To be eaten. By people. For $5.50 a pop. And yet there is more to your menu than just penises, squid beaks and cow tongues; there’s also the drawing of a guy sticking a revolver up the ass of a bound half-naked chick.

Nice loincloth dude

While I’ll admit that I am just pointing out some of your more…er, colorful qualities, it must be noted that everything on your menu is amazingly cheap. Most of your food (including your far more normal dishes) rings in at around the $5-$7 range and you sell beers for $1.50 each or $8 a pitcher. That my friend is beautiful; almost as beautiful as the scores of vintage bondage porn posters that line your sacred walls or the rules written on the bottom of your menu saying “No fighting, masturbating, having sex or drugs. You will be ejected.” Kenka, you’re my kind of place and I just wanted to say thanks for the cotton candy that you give out at the end of the meal; it helps to get rid of the lingering bull cock taste.

P.S For those interested I think Kenka is only written in Japanese on the outside sign, which can make it harder to find when searching for it.

Kenka
25 St. Mark’s Pl. btwn 2nd & 3rd Aves.
[East Village]

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About the author

Broke-Ass Stuart - Editor In Cheap

I've been called "an Underground legend": SF Chronicle , "an SF cult hero": SF Bay Guardian, and "the chief of cheap": Time Out New York, but to those familiar with my work, I'm just "that douchebag who writes books about cheap stuff and drinks a lot".
  • Naomi Edelson

    Bull penis? There is certified bull penis being sold one block away from me and I didn’t know it?

    Now I know where to take CJ for Valentines day :)

  • stu

    I always figured you were a bull penis fan

  • satosan

    Kenka in japanese means “to fight”. So i see that the decor is according to the name.

    ……….tho the bull penis……

    We don’t eat bull penis….

    eventhough fish sperm is normally eaten…..