Broke-Ass Guide to Being Alone on Christmas
Spending Christmas alone is nothing to be ashamed of. Flights are expensive, maybe you don’t have the money to fly to see your family. Maybe you hate your family. Perhaps you are Jewish. Don’t let other people feel sorry for you- Christmas by yourself is awesome. If you find yourself alone, here’s a handy list of things to do:
1. Stock up at the grocery store beforehand, and leave food, drink and the remote within reaching distance of the bed and see if you can literally stay the whole day in bed. It’s probably harder than it looks.
2. Go to the movies and then get Chinese food. In a tradition dictated by the Talmud, Jewish people knew this was the best day to go to the movies. However, this seems to be co-opted by many families who after a few hours get sick of talking to each other around the tree so they take everyone to the movies. So it will likely be crowded, but it’s worth the trip. And nothing else is open.
3. Counteract the Christmas cheer by watching the most depressing movies ever. May I suggest something by Lars Von Trier?
4. Take a walk around your neighborhood. It will likely be empty and you can pretend you are the only survivor of the apocalypse. Get a sheriff’s outfit and do some Rick Grimes cosplay.
5. Learn a new skill or talent. Take the day to learn a new craft, watch youtube videos of magic trick secrets, read hundreds of Wikipedia articles. Everyone else will come back with family drama and jetlag, but you’ll be way more interesting.
6. Start your New Year’s UNresolutions. Instead of making resolutions that you know you won’t keep, make a list of things you don’t want to do anymore in the new year. Believe me, this will be way easier to keep.
7. Take the time to unsubscibe from all the mailing lists you are on and from all the group discount side you subscribe to but never use. Is $400 Botox really a steal?
8. Of course, there is always volunteer work. Please make sure you plan ahead of time and to make sure you are really needed. Lots of times, someone wanting to do a one-time only project on a holiday creates more work for the already struggling organization.
9. Do your own personal community service. Go through your clothes and decide to donate some of them. Mow your neighbor’s lawn (or shovel their driveway, depending on what coast you are on).
10. Devote an entire day to pampering and indulging your pet with your company. They probably rarely get a whole day of your attention, and it will be the best present for them, ever.