I had a regular when I was a bartender. 33, classically gorgeous and a bar owner, he had a crush on me because I didn’t give a shit, i.e. wasn’t hot enough to be seen in public with. He’d bring in every feminine cliche (Biracial Burlesque Performer, Marketing Intern Who Drinks Half Her Shiraz Because of Carbs, etc.), then roll his eyes at them when I’d made eye contact.
Worst, he called himself a nerd- a widespread crime of normal, good looking men and women appropriating the title to make themselves adorable and accessible. When he’d drink at the bar with a buddy instead of a date, he’d loudly drop greatest hits like “No, Gimli was scion to Gloin,” and “I went as Admiral Akbar every Halloween till I was 18”, then run his hand through his wavy hair with faux embarrassment. Looking up at me with big chocolate eyes saying, “Yeah, I know, I’m a nerd” with barely hidden satisfaction, it took everything not to reply “Bitch prease. I don’t even know who Admiral Akbar is but he’d be offended you’re using him for pussy. Nerd? Bring me 3 drink tickets from Comic Con and we’ll talk.”
Point is, people capitalize on ‘Nerd’ without committing to the bit- whether a dude or a girl picking pointless, showy arguments about Firefly. Thank God for I Heart Nerds Speed Dating and Singles Night!! Just in time to cuddle up for a Valentine’s Dr. Who marathon, the poser-free party is back February 9th at Brooklyn’s Bar 4. There’ll be music, mingling, and of course, the chance to dish about Blade Runner 2 intel with some hot, real nerds. RSVP to firstname.lastname@example.org, and do it fast because the speed dating will fill up. $5 to speed, free to mingle.
Thursday, February 9, 2012 , doors at 7
Bar 4 in Brooklyn
444 7th Ave. Brooklyn, NY 11215 (Windsor Terrace/South Slope)
RSVP to email@example.com (let ‘em know if you’re a dork or dorkette when you do)
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