Chloe Newsom - Dive Bar Desperado

06 Jun 2014

Dear SF & LA: Shut Up And Hug It Out

Shhh. Stop whining. Let’s all eat burritos on a beach, together. “Blah blah blah, TRAFFIC, blah blah blah SUPERFICIALITY! REALITY SHOW REJECTS!” is what I constantly hear from San Francisco citizens about my current residency in LA. “Yackity shmackity, ZILLIONAIRE TECH ASSHOLES! PRICE OF RENT!” is what I hear about

Chloe Newsom - Dive Bar Desperado 0
12 Feb 2014

Broke Ass Last Minute Valentine’s Day Ideas

We’ve all been there, dude. You’re happily single, watching True Detective from a stolen source of cable, pretending the chicken in your fridge is still ok to eat, Peter Panning your way through life on a meager salary, when, BAMM! The perfect person comes along, and you’re screwed (literally and

Chloe Newsom - Dive Bar Desperado 0
10 Feb 2014

Dear Everyone: Shut Up About How Much LA Sucks*

*I’m talking to myself, too. Aloha, ladies and gentlemen. It’s been a while, I know, omg whatever, but I’m still in LA and it’s almost been a whole year – a thought that has this kind of affect on me where I’m like “Trippy, man” but also “Not-so-trippy, man” because everything

Chloe Newsom - Dive Bar Desperado 0

I'm Running For Mayor of SF and I Need Your Help!

Over the past few years I’ve watched as San Francisco has been pulled out from under us and sold to the highest bidder. And I’m fed up and heartbroken. San Francisco is for everyone, not just the wealthy elite, and this is why I’ve decided to run for mayor....

Broke-Ass Stuart - Editor In Cheap
03 Sep 2013

Why Starting a Cult is a Great Way to Stop Being Broke

If this doesn’t convince you, then IDK. I’m fucking broke, man. I’m broke. And Groupon/Lifebooker/whatever discount website is trendy right now, is not REALLY an app or a website, it is an addiction. In the perpetual quest for Patrick Bateman-style physical perfection that is this Hollywood life, I find myself

Chloe Newsom - Dive Bar Desperado 0
19 Apr 2013

This Week Sucks, and I’m So Sorry

Hey. Are you ok? Shitty week, right. To say the least. Are you feeling anxious? Did you have a friend at the Boston Marathon? Perhaps, a friend of a friend is faculty or a student at MIT? Did you know someone who knows someone who was a victim of the

Chloe Newsom - Dive Bar Desperado 0
12 Apr 2013

I Sold My Soul and Moved from Portland to Los Angeles

 This is what I look like when I’m moving. Or, drunk. Or both. I haven’t written anything in a while because I have been moving. And maybe drunk? Perhaps a giggly combination of the two. But I’ve been happy, too, which always makes spilling my guts onto the internet a

Chloe Newsom - Dive Bar Desperado 0
18 Jan 2013

Four Ways To Possibly Get Rid of Writer’s Block

OK so let’s just jump right into it, because I’m fucking bored, perpetually heartbroken this week, and just not really into anything. Usually that’s when I get my best writing done but lately all I can do is sit in bed and like, cry, or play this new-ish Simpsons game

Chloe Newsom - Dive Bar Desperado 0