Rule of thumb: you can be poor, just don’t be annoying about it. Everyone’s trying to get by. Especially if you live in an outrageously expensive city such as New York or San Francisco. But if you do indeed live in such a city, then you know how utterly amazing

Ugh, rich people. They’re always making us regular Joes feel so goddamn… poor. They drive around in their fancy-schmancy white stretch limos, eating caviar and endangered, baby mammals with their pinky sticking out, all while perpetually drowning in a sea of diamonds and mink stoles (paws still attached, of course).

“Living at home is such a drag. Now, your Mama threw away Your best porno mag.” – Fight for Your Right by the Beastie Boys Once upon a time, living at home was an unfortunate situation which only losers, failures, and the mentally unstable would have to endure. See, moving

Just a little word of advice for the fellow broke-ass bus and train riders: There ARE actually a list of do’s and don’ts that may be useful to some or useful to others when it comes to riding the bus or train. These rules are also specific to NYC travelers.

I drink a lot. Probably too much, but I don’t know where you draw the line when it comes to putting poison in your body, so I’ll just assume it’s in chalk somewhere around your dead body. Coming from a family with a history of addiction, I’m keenly aware of

Let’s face it, guys. You woke one morning and it dawned on you: “I’m a broke-ass.” But how do you know? What evidence is there to prove that you’re a broke-ass or not? Here’s a few key signs that might let you know that you are indeed a broke-ass motherfucker.

So, it’s Valentine’s week (Yes, it’s an entire week now. Sorry.) and I don’t care if you’re fully ball-n-chained or single and swinging that thang all over the city, one thing V-day evokes in every last warm-blooded human being is the desire to get… some. You know what I’m talking about,