I used to have an iTunes playlist called Music To Fuck To, a curated aural orgy of thumping bass and wah-wah guitar glory. All the obvious songs were there—”Whole Lotta Love,” “Come Together,” “Lebanese Blonde.” Naturally, I played it one night when I was giving a platonic massage to
Might as Well Face it You’re Addicted to Sex I had sex with a married woman in the backseat of my Boss’s car. She began flicking her tongue between my thighs while my Boss was driving down 6th St. At 8th St. her nipple slid onto my clitoris while a
A job interview is like dating, or is dating like a job interview? You know where I’m going here. You sit down with a stranger for an allotted amount of time and you try to impress each other with bullshit. You spend so much time preparing for these meetings, but
Over the past few years I’ve watched as San Francisco has been pulled out from under us and sold to the highest bidder. And I’m fed up and heartbroken. San Francisco is for everyone, not just the wealthy elite, and this is why I’ve decided to run for mayor....
There are two questions people ask me right off the bat when I tell them I just completed 40 Tinder dates in 40 days…
Most of us have heard the dull and alliterative hip-hop proverb: you can’t turn a ho into a housewife. It’s a relatively new incarnation of a very old idea that probably comes from the Old Testament or some other terrible book. While the wording has changed throughout the years the
Being a writer probably means you’re a moody introspective introvert dork. I mean that in the kindest and most affectionate of ways, because I am one of you. Being a successful writer means you’ve probably learned the art of charm and can connect with pretty much anyone on the planet for
I love language. I believe even the vilest of words and phrases can be employed rhetorically in a way that is both provocative and engaging. So when I say it’s time to retire the word slut it is not that I wish to censor the word or remove it from