I Sold My Soul and Moved from Portland to Los Angeles
This is what I look like when I’m moving. Or, drunk. Or both. I haven’t written anything in a while because I have been moving. And maybe drunk? Perhaps a giggly combination of the two. But I’ve been happy, too, which always makes spilling my guts onto the internet a
How to Not Murder Yourself in Portland This Winter
Like most people that live in Portland right now, you’re probably thinking something along the lines of “the sky is grey, everything is grey, the choices I make get perpetually worse every year, my life is going nowhere, I want to die, is there someone available to take care of
Portland, You’re a Dirty Little Slut
Some dude who is probably leaving Portland after a one-year stand. Portland, my little city of dreams. I love you so much. Everyone claims to love you so much. Your dreary grey skies make for pretty poetry and days full of coffee and booze and strip clubs and cheap, delicious
A Guide to Surviving Fall in Portland aka: Summer “Went Out to Buy Cigarettes” and is Never Coming Back
So first off if you’re reading this, congratulations! You didn’t overdose or asphyxiate on your own vomit from partying this summer! That’s great and I’m sure your parents are proud. I hope you were right on the brink, though, and you got all the summering out of your system because look outside,
Dear Portland – Stop Texting Me to Hangout at 2pm on a Weekday
So I moved to Portland last summer from San Francisco and, as you can tell from my previous posts, (A Scumbag’s Guide to Portland) I’m madly in love with it.
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A Scumbag’s Guide to Portland – The Final Chapter
Hi GUYS! It’s been a second. Sorry about the delayed finale to this series, but I’ve been travelling/hungover most days in the past month and I just really didn’t feel like doling out recommendations to you because there’s a part of me that thinks maybe I should clean up my act and calm down and put a halt to this raucous, unstable, indulgent, satanic party of a lifestyle.
A Scumbag’s Guide to Portland – Part 4
Yeah. With your dumb orange car. Hey cats and kittens, it’s that time again! Happy belated Memorial Day. Hope you’re still making out with a soldier you met last night, and eating leftover BBQ, cooked in the name of our brave civil war heroes. It’s that blissful time of year when day-drunk is
A Scumbag’s Guide to Portland – Part 3
Picture shamelessly stolen from http://www.boymeetsmusic.com/ Happy Monday my beautiful, sexy, hilarious, rip city scumbags! If you’re one of the few PDeX’s that is unfortunate enough to be employed, chug some coffee and shake off the weekend, because it’s over now and your boss can totally tell you’re hungover and you